Donnybrook Will Manage the Stupid Band Name Shortage
By Col. Hector Bravado • Oct 26th, 2009 • Category: Headlines from the Manor, Miscellaneous Academy Notes
After extensive research on the Donnybrook Super Internet — it’s a lot like the crappy internet you use, except everything on it is true — we have determined that these are the only remaining names available for new musical acts:
She Could Have Worn a Light Sweater
When the Didn’t and/if Durrrrr…
We Start With Two Farm-Fresh Eggs
Handjob Sector 5
If It’s Not Too Much Trouble: The Watchtower
Escape from Witch Mountain
We Thought We’d Beaten Them, But They Came Back With Robots
It’s Shiny Enough for Walter
Run! Okay, Stop.
The Butter Flags
SPZLT
Rattttt
If you are thinking of starting a band and are interested in one of the available remaining names, you may contact us at Donnybrook Manor via hand-delivered message. Your chances skyrocket if your band is performing in an almost unknown sub-genre: special preference will be given to bands who do electro-prog, squelch-hop, or post-water-core.
Donnybrook Writing Academy will hold an invite-only auction among approved finalists, at which time you may bid against other charlatans for the moniker which best suits your ethos and sound.
Stay tuned for details, stupid!
Col. Hector Bravado is a rant afficionado, handjob connoisseur, and writer of Stuck in My Head.
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I wasn’t going to start a band, but now I am so inspired by the band name “Run! Okay, Stop.” that I might have to apply for it. Does the Headmistress get special preference?
Naturally. But don’t tip your hand, I want people to bid on it anyway in hopes that they might get it.
I’m having my car dipped in chocolate next month and I need the extra revenue.
i’m dyyyyyying. my coworkers think i’ve gone off the deep end with laughter. thanks.
Your co-workers are weird.
If you only fucking knew how hard I just laughed, and how much I needed it.
Glad to be of service, good sir.
Osama’s Hairlip is taken?
Yup. Osama’s Hairlip is a roots-core band from Dayton, OH.
God, this is good.
Wait ’til you see the auction.
Heh, heh. Bands are so stupid.
Except for Nipples on Fire, of course!
@Ethereal JB: “It’s drinking the water! Heh, heh. It’s going back for more!”
@godonnybrook: I’ll have to take your word for it. Haven’t heard them, but it sounds like they made it in under the wire. Although I would be happy to sell them one of our new names.
Nipples on Fire (NoF) is a band of various girl bloggers you know and love, and yes, we made it in under the wire. we’ll fuck your shit up if you try to take our name away. i mean, our nipples are ACTUALLY ON FIRE. you don’t mess with that.
Our endeavor here is not to revoke extant names, but merely regulate the remaining unclaimed ones. No worries there.
If they’re actually on fire, my salutations. That’s not an easy stunt to pull off.