A Match Made in Hell, or Signs-of-the-Apocalypse-Volume-3,768

Written by  //  April 24, 2008  //  The Conservatory  //  15 Comments

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Dear God, this is the kind of shit that turns little kids into demons… all of the insurrection in the world, all of the injustice, this shit… it’s all because of this shit.. but no really… these guys make gangsta rap look like the little kiddie hymns in church that say “shine your light on the world,” … or whatever it is they say… if I see one more set of butt cheeks I’m gonna lose it… how fucking horrible is this? Well, honestly, I gotta give it to these guys… this shit is kinda funny, ya know? For the relevance, this video has a ton of creativity, but in reality, I think I just love that scepter… I want one. The Col. turned me on to this one, and hey, thanks, Col.!

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZPeHk4WMWpY" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Now, let me introduce you to my newest Vengeful Videorama Object-of-Hate… Miss KM… She’s so horrible she defies my abilities to come up with something creative and mean to moniker her by… this is what I’ve already written, in the past months upon finding nothing but her shitty videos all over my screen, which I must say almost made me quit the idea of fucking commenting on videos altogether… (am I mad??? Is Lady Z almost destroyed by this shit??? Well, I haven’t watched a music video since, until being inspired by Chuggo…) Anyway, I was going to write some bitchy review about this brand new barbie doll in the musical toy box, and then I decided not to torture my readers. You should thank me. (notice that I DON’T post the videos for your very survival… I want people to retain the desire to watch music videos altogether, which could very well be obliterated by watching one of her’s…. So if you really want to see this sign-of-the-apocalypse, you may of course go to YouTube or Vh1 dot com and have a look. I realize there are some types who want to ogle her shiny lips, but watch at your own risk.

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Kylie Minogue- “2 Hearts”- She wants to be Marilyn, Madonna, Britney, Gwen, Amy, Blondie, and thats exactly the fucking problem. She’s ripping on everyone, and it doesn’t hold up to 2008, sorry. As much as she’s supposed to be the next big thing, there is fucking nothing new about this music, and as a result I totally hate it. She doesn’t need money obviously, she’s got plenty of that, but she definitely needs a new image and a new producer. (And the fact that I have nothing else to say about this doesn’t say that I’m a shitty writer, it says that she’s the worst of the shit of the shit of new music videos and new music period).

Kylie Minogue- (Some lame Music Video) Will it ever fucking end? I seriously can’t take any more of this silly pink girl. She’s everything horrible about the spice girls rolled into one. (Except Posh, who is obviously doing something right–she’s fucking married to the hottest man alive…) Anyway, gag me with a fucking piece of bubblegum and throw me back into junior high and my 13 year old life! I would rather write about the cheesiness of the fucking Lisa Frank flowery cheetah-inspired notebooks of that time period than this derivative big-music-biz princess.

About the Author

Lady Zuzanna is the author of Vengeful Videorama, as well as an African safari guide and music video B-girl from London.

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15 Comments on "A Match Made in Hell, or Signs-of-the-Apocalypse-Volume-3,768"

  1. Col. Hector Bravado April 24, 2008 at 8:21 am · Reply

    It’s crude in the extreme, but I can’t help think this guy has an awesome sense of humor. I mean the bad CGI and the skull staff? Come on, fuckin’ guy! Thanks for putting this up, Lady Z! You’re helping the moral development of Donnybrookites everywhere!

  2. Bang Tango'ed April 24, 2008 at 8:35 am · Reply

    There are no words for Chuggo…….. I want to meet him.

    “See that guy stealing?”
    “That was a thief”

    “See that guy behind him?”
    “Thats the police”

    Brilliant.

  3. Elliott April 25, 2008 at 11:25 am · Reply

    You gotta check out the next video on the YouTube widget: “Chuggo gets slapped”. It lends some credibility to the sense of humor theory. Dude’s straight scum, though. I feel cheap that I came back for another look, but c’mon fuckin’ guy.

    • Midge December 15, 2011 at 2:49 am · Reply

      That inighst solves the problem. Thanks!

  4. Elliott April 25, 2008 at 11:30 am · Reply

    Really, I just watched “Chuggo gets slapped” five more times. It’s awesome.

  5. Col. Hector Bravado April 25, 2008 at 12:28 pm · Reply

    I’ve gone through the exact same process. The first time I watched it, I asked myself, “I’m definitely stimulated in some odd way, but should I hate this?”
    But by the fourth view, I loved it.
    It’s exactly how I felt when Andrew W.K. came out.

  6. Elliott April 25, 2008 at 3:32 pm · Reply

    It’s in my head in a really deep way. My wife just told me a story about something someone she knows said, and it was there for me: aargh, c’mon fuckin’ guy.

    I love the way it’s like preschool rhymes, then flows for a bit, then preschool rhymes again.

  7. robbiebowman April 28, 2008 at 7:09 am · Reply

    great. now my mind is shattered. I don’t think anything has ever depressed me more than this. Ever.

  8. Bang Tango'ed April 28, 2008 at 10:14 am · Reply

    I couldn’t help myself but yell, “Come on Fucking Guy” at people in the bars this weekend. I was the only one who thought it was funny.

  9. Col. Hector Bravado April 28, 2008 at 12:02 pm · Reply

    robbiebowman: You know you’re going to watch it again.

  10. Angora April 28, 2008 at 12:58 pm · Reply

    I haven’t watched it yet, I just wanted to say that Lisa Frank rules! Radical spectacular!

  11. Elliott April 28, 2008 at 4:32 pm · Reply

    Still, not one remark on the fantastic “Chuggo Gets Slapped” video. Really, do yourself a favor: watch it.

  12. Angora April 29, 2008 at 11:23 am · Reply

    I’m at work constantly and it’s blocked at my work. Wonder why? But really, the tension is killing me!

  13. Lady Z April 29, 2008 at 4:11 pm · Reply

    alright, E, I finally gave in and watched “Chuggo gets slapped.” Watched it twice, actually… and the Ave Maria music was wonderful. I found a smile slowly spreading across my face for the first time today, and all my bad attitude of a moopy tuesday has been cured. Thank God at least one bitch actually slapped the guy! C’mon fuckin’ girls!

  14. Col. Hector Bravado April 29, 2008 at 9:14 pm · Reply

    That last one was a SHOT! Solid.

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