Bartender Blogs: Larimer Lounge XXXmas party w/ Machine Gun Blues, Sleeperhorse, Magic Cyclops and DJ Michael Trundle (12/20/07)

This event was billed as an “elegant holiday affair with caroling… free!” What they didn’t put on the bill was that there was free booze and free food, and not just one or two bottles of Korbel and a keg with some cookies and tiny sandwiches like some fascist corporate “Xmas” party where you can’t even get drunk. This was a real party, an XXXMas party. Probably one of the best parties ever. If you weren’t there, you missed out.

The List of Awesomeness for Larimer’s “XXXmas” party:

The Bands

Machine Gun Blues: This five piece blues rock outfit has been described as two 13 year-old girls playing xylophones in a very indie-rock style.

Sleeperhorse: Just like the name says. The skinny horse that wins the Kentucky Derby because it’s so jacked up on meth. Musically

Magic Cyclops: Performs magic tricks that all seem to involve animals appearing out of the hollow cavity where his eye used to be.

DJ Michael Trundle: Spins like the pros, and without the use of his arms.

The Food (from Breckenridge Brewery)

BBQ beef

BBQ pork

Enough to feed hundreds

The Booze

-12 bottles of Absolut
-8 cases of Red Bull
-6 bottles of Beam
-4 kegs of High Life.

The Guests

All shameless drunks and drug addicts. Good people ready to celebrate Christmas just like Jesus would want them to.

The mayhem that took place can only be described as, um, elegant.

Owners Scott and Mark technically required that only people with wrist bands were allowed to drink the free booze, but what’s the point when nearly everybody had wristbands? I probably denied like five people the whole night. I even let Magic Cyclops drink straight from the tap.

The guests drank every drop of that booze with the exception of the dregs of the last keg. All I can say: elegantly done, people. In the future, when drinking Red Bull and Vodka is illegal, you’ll remember the night you drank 5 at the Larimer Lounge XXXmas party and your heart almost stopped.

Aside from watching only a few minutes of Machine Gun Blues play, I honestly cannot tell you how the bands played because from open to close I was serving drinks. My fingers tips are sore from opening Red Bull cans. I caught a glimpse from my bar of Aaron the singer MGB in his underwear (a common sight). He gets naked even when nobody shows up. He’ll get naked at the bar when he’s just hanging out with friends. It’s his thing and we love him for it.

The bands must have played well because everybody seemed to have that look of: I’m gonna fucking rock out! I served those people first with the strongest pours. You need to stay hydrated when rocking out iron-man style.

It was also a bit of a reunion for me. It was good to see everybody having good times just like before I left. It’s good to know some things haven’t changed: people in Denver know how to party and that the Larimer Lounge is still throws balls-to-the-wall XXXmas parties.

The Bartender

Keep drinking and tipping.