The Best of…
I have a very important announcement. The wealthy in this country have been silent for too long. They have been battered and beaten and made fun of and have not gotten their every whim catered to as they used to in olden times. Well, The Donnybrook Writing Academy is not going to just stand by and take it anymore, it’s time for action!! Specifically, a party:
And I, Ivyy Goldberg, will do my part to help the world, by helping the wealthy, by helping raise consciousness about the plight of the wealthy, by helping raise consciousness about the party we’re having, by profiling the Oh So Fuckable Rockstars who will be playing said party. Did ya get that? And oh, my, gawd, do we have some Fuckables playing the party. Consider it a Best Of Donnybrook Denver’s Most Fuckable, ok?
First up, you know him, you love him, you fantasize about loving him over and over again….
Johnny from Blue Million Miles!!!!!
Johnny is so sexy it’s actually physically painful to be in his presence for too long. Seriously. When the Donnybrook Board of Trustees interviewed him at Donnybrook Manor for the prestigious honor of Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar it became like a game of Last Man Standing, with board members screaming in agony, begging for the sweet release of death, and passing out on the plush carpeting made of baby leopard skins. And Johnny just leaned against the fireplace, totally unperturbed, smoking his hash pipe and softly caressing the edge of his pashmina smoking jacket, his piercing eyes slowly scanning the room for survivors. Anyhoo….
Band: Drummer, Blue Million Miles
Status: Dating a model (of course).
Why He’s This Week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar: BMM plays “windblown indie rock,” according to the Denver Post. Now isn’t that sexy? Yes, yes it is.
Probable Lovemaking Style: Hair. Flying. Everywhere.
Possible Drawbacks: None. He’s so out of your league you’ll never actually be able to sleep with him, and in fantasy-land there are no drawbacks, so, none.
Where to Find Him: The Party. June 8th at the Larimer Lounge.
This is Jim.
He’s in a band called Cat-a-tac.
We at The Donnybrook Writing Academy like Jim. We think he would make a fine member of our tennis team, based simply on his elegant bone structure.
He’s also quite fuckable. Really.
Band: Cat-A-Tac, guitarist and lead singer.
Status: In a relationship.
Why he’s this week’s most Fuckable Rockstar: Well, first, just look at him, he’s hot! And he’s super nice, and his band’s music is sexy. Also, he’s whimsical; Cat-A-Tac’s music is shoegaze rock, but he’s not above throwing a country song into his set every once in a while, just to freak out the kids with the sweepy emo bangs. We at the Academy hold whimsy in very high esteem.
Probable Lovemaking Style: Intellectual (he went to law school!) and subtly passionate, with just the right amount of strength and the occasional light-hearted experimentation.
Where to Find Him: Oh my God, the party is gonna be so awesome. June 8th at the Larimer Lounge.
Stay tuned for more Best Of Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstars next week, Lovelies, where I continue to promote the sheer awesomeness of the party on June 8th!