Big Girl Problems, and Ivyy’s First Hate Mail!
I really really really want a boyfriend. I’m a really nice person, funny, intelligent, caring, etc, but I just don’t have that model body that guys are looking for in a girlfriend. Any advice?
You didn’t include any body stats or pics with your letter, Chubby, so I have no idea if you’re a What’s-Eating-Gilbert-Grapin’, Can’t-Get-Out-Of-Beddin’, Fed-With-A-Shovelin’ kind of fat chick, or just a regular girl who has some extra junk in the trunk, as the kids say.
If you were the former, however, you probably wouldn’t be able to type a letter without some special keyboard for big fingers, so I’m going to just assume you’re a girl who’s not a heroin chic supermodel, is just like the rest of us, but with some wicked harsh self-esteem issues, no? And really, who wouldn’t have self-esteem issues, living in the society we live in, where 5 pounds can seem like 50?
So here’s what to do: forget about the whole “finding a boyfriend” thing for a while. If you concentrate on that you’ll come off as desperate and insecure, and you’ll attract bad guys who prey on desperate and insecure girls.
Instead, find stuff to do that makes you feel sexy. If you’re not already, become more active- go jogging in the park, join a gym, go to a yoga class. If you change your lifestyle to the tune of even 2 pounds lost, you’ll feel so much sexier to yourself that this confidence will radiate off of you in a manner that will have grown men weeping at your feet, consumed with passion for you. No matter that the average man can’t tell the difference between You and 2-Pound-Lighter You; it’s your attitude that’s changed here, and that’s what counts.
Also, it might help to change your ideas a wee bit concerning what men look for in women. Most men, in my experience, are not supermodels themselves, so why is it that we women somehow think that they’ll settle for nothing less than a supermodel? I’m sorry, but, as my redneck brother says, that dog won’t hunt. And for every guy out there who prefers a skinny chick, there’s a guy who’s all about a bigger body type. I’ll bet most guys fall somewhere in between.
Where do you get off? Everyone is fuckable in their own way. Who appointed you Supreme Decider of what IS and what is NOT fuckable? Shame on you.
Thanks for your interest. If I were physically capable of feeling shame, I would probably feel it right now. (What’s the feeling of shame like, readers? It must be a terrible thing.)
Anyhoo, stay tuned for a whole lot more sex advice and people you should find desirable. For now, I bid you a lovely goodbye!