Bill from Sloan Valve
Here’s how to get chosen as Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar, my dears: write a song inspired by me.* That’s what my good friend Bill did, my loves.
You might suspect that this week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar might reek of favoritism, and you would be right. But as I stated above, if a band takes the time to stroke the ego of Yours Truly by writing a song based around me, then the least I can do is find them the least bit fuckable, right my dears?
Oh, and also, look at this picture of him and tell me he is not the absolute stereotype of Donnybrook Fuckability, amiright?
Oh, and I’ll let you figure out which song it is- we want some mystery left in the world, now, don’t we?
This week’s Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar is…
Bill from Sloan Valve!!!!!
Band: Lead singer and guitarist, Sloan Valve
Status: Married to a bad-ass lawyer who will litigate your ass into the ground if you so much as touch her man.
Why he’s this week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar: Well, besides having written a song about me**, Sloan Valve is a band who has poured their heart and soul into their music and worked their butts off to get as good as they are. And working hard is sexy, lovelies, isn’t it? Yes it is.
Awkward Thing The Band is Named After: Band members who would regularly go to bars and use urinals found the name “Sloan Valve” stamped on every urinal in every bar they went to (it’s the name of the company that provides urinals), and decided to name their band after that.
Where to find him: Sloan Valve plays their CD Release show at Herman’s Hideaway on Saturday, April 3rd. www.myspace.com/sloanvalve1
*Ok, so this song, right? It uses my name, but it’s not ABOUT me. Ok? No starting crazy rumors, y’all.
**NOT ABOUT ME. They were inspired by my name, is all. My NAME, dammit.