Concerned Interview: Rabbit is a Sphere

Written by  //  November 3, 2008  //  Interviews, The Conservatory  //  8 Comments


As concerned citizens, Donnybrook turns our sharpened critical eyes on emerging artists – to make sure they’re up to our standards, see? In this interview, Angora Holly Polo fires tough questions at Rbt. B. Rutherford from Rabbit is a Sphere in light of the upcoming release of their sophomore E.P. “Hope is a Cinder that Blinks Quietly Until We Die,” November 6th at Hi-Dive.

Question the First:

You are a writer for the Donnybrook Writing Academy, and also you are the lead singer of the band Rabbit is a Sphere, and also you play in EAOD, a band which I am trying to help with publicity, and you also fellate various members of Donnybrook at various times, and now I’m interviewing you for Donnybrook, so I was wondering: do you think I’m biased? Do you think we should tell people?

Of course you are biased, and I think that you should admit it.  The whole of The Donnybrook Writing Academy is run by extremist liberals who pander their anti-American, baby-killing, strap-on-dildo-wielding message to the obscenely coiffed hipsters who are waiting for signals from blogs such as this to cue them on to what sort of cultural flotsam will represent currency among the literati these days.  And whereas I was hoping we could keep the fellatio sessions under wraps (hi mom!), I expect fair treatment and nothing but pointed questions from you.

Question B.1:

Your music makes me feel like someone force-fed me acid and dropped me off in the middle of the desert with a cowboy who plays the blues on a banjo while crying continuously. Is this normal? Can I call the same number that gets rid of too-long erections to get rid of this feeling? Do I even want it to go away?

That cowboy is a liar.  Do not trust him.

Question B.2:

Are you going to kick cat-a-tac out of Needlepoint Records? They don’t have a four-word band name like Rabbit is a Sphere, Thank God for Astronauts, or Everything Absent or Distorted.

We have staged several interventions with cat-a-tac, with members of RIAS, EAOD, and TGFA even offering up several suggestions for pretentiously long band names.  According to our Needlepoint by-laws, we are forbidden from kicking them out of our collective, but please know that we have given them a stern talking-to.  What’s more, we have generated some really fantastic names for them, names such as My Favorite Aegean Deathsaber, Crystal Winged Wolf Lover, The Jimmy Dean Sausage Links, Nag Champa Defamation League, and Tourette’s Tourette’s Shitballs Fingerlicker.

Question III:

I think we’re going to totally bomb the radio show we’re about to go on. What do you think?

Past tense: bombed.

Question Quatre:

An artist of any medium is only as good as his greatest tragedy. I said that. So please give me a chronological list of your past traumas which have informed your music. Like a resume of sorts.

1978:  Gained cognizance of self.  Wept to learn I’m an asshole.
1980:  Bullshit decoder ring garnered from the bottom of a box of Capt. Crunch fails to grant me access to a secret underworld of child assassins.
1982:  Had sexual fantasy after viewing Culture Club’s video “Do you really want to hurt me?”.  Confused when my sister informed me of Boy George’s gender.
1988:  Laughed at from the parking lot of my junior high for tucking my Vuarnet t-shirt into my spandex shorts.
2007:  Applauded as a fashion-forward visionary for tucking my Vuarnet t-shirt into my spandex shorts, confusing my uncool sensibilities.

Question VI:

I kind of hear Animal Collective in your music – trippy distortion and effects with a country twang, a little blues, but with a forward rock sensibility (vocally at times) in your songs. What band comparisons have music journalists made about your music where you were like, “Awesome!” and which ones made you go, “That music journalist is a douchebag.”?

All music journalists are douchebags.  Having said that, there have been several instances where I have read something comparing the music of rabbit is a sphere to a musician or band or writer whom I admire and have thought “wow, what an astute douchebag.”

Question 34:

I like all things meta. How did it feel to write about playing a show from your perspective? (after you answer this question it will be even more meta)

It felt therapeutic.  I have complained for years to my wife that there have been many upsetting myths dispelled about being in a band, namely the prospect of lots of blowjobs from good-looking strangers who admire my creativity.  Either I am not a very compelling musician, or these things don’t really happen to sappy indie rockers.  My wife posits that try hard enough, but that’s ridiculous.  They are supposed to be unsolicited.  It doesn’t seem very “rock-n-roll” to have to say, “Hey, I’m in a band, do you think you could give me a blowjob as a way for both of us to celebrate that fact?”

Next Question Please:

Did you lose a band member or something? I vaguely remember that from your press release.

We did lose a band member.  Natalie Winslow, who sang and played guitar among other things, left the band to pursue a master’s degree in religious studies.  We certainly miss her, but we have gained another member, Al Scholl, and he has much to do with the tone of our new songs.  Christopher and Georgina and I have been friends for so long that we worried that it might feel cliquish to have somebody coming into the band after we’d been playing together for two-and-a-half years, but we have quickly grown to love Al immensely.  He’s a great guitarist, a good father, and a genuinely kind-hearted man, and he can eat a can of beans and fart the entire alphabet with one long flatulence.

Final question:

My favorite song is from the new recording is “Hell Has a Heart.” I just throught you should know that.

Thanks!  One of the requirements of rabbit is a sphere’s long-standing membership with the Church of Satan is that we include one song on every album where we pledge our allegiance to The Dark Lord.  If you play that song backwards, you will hear a man reciting directions to get to the Breakfast Palace on Broadway, which is the Gates of Hell.

Upon this extreme scrutiny, we deem Rabbit is a Sphere’s excellent new album, and their lavishly long, pretentious band and album name, to be sufficiently “high art.” Check them out yourselves November 6th.

About the Author

Angora Holly Polo

Angora Holly Polo is the Czar of Donnybrook Manor, moderator of leisure, purveyor of intrigue. You may email her offerings of gold at

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8 Comments on "Concerned Interview: Rabbit is a Sphere"

  1. Ivyy November 3, 2008 at 12:39 pm · Reply

    fair and unbiased. and so very donnybrook. kudos, angora darling. kudos of the highest degree.

  2. Team Donnybrook
    godonnybrook November 3, 2008 at 1:30 pm · Reply

    Thanks Ivyy! Also our next death metal band should be called “Tourette’s Tourette’s Shitballs Fingerlicker.”

  3. Ivyy November 3, 2008 at 2:25 pm · Reply

    Yup i’ve already begun the copyright process for that band name. TTSF for-EVER!!!!

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