David Tyree Hates the Gays
Written by Professor Honeydew // June 16, 2011 // The Field // 7 Comments
David Tyree is probably a self-loathing, closeted homosexual thinks gay marriage will lead to “anarchy”–his words, not mine.
This raises an important question: who the fuck is David Tyree?
Well, he’s a recovering crack and alcohol addict who was arrested for drug possession in 2004, all of which totally makes him qualified to judge other people. Oh yeah, and he also had a very brief NFL career which consists of one highlight that was entirely due to his insuperable skills a clusterfuck of luck and came during a season where he caught, let’s see… 1, 2, 3… 4 passes.
Clearly, he has a lot of free time on his hands, so when an organization you’ve never heard of asked him to sit down and talk about the bad juju that gay nuptials would inevitably wreak upon the world he jumped at the chance.
(Also because–like other people who can’t cope with all of the shitty, fucked up things they’ve done in their lives–Tyree is a “born again” asshole, which makes him uniquely qualified to judge lest his previous actions be judged.)
My favorite quote is:
How can marriage be marriage for thousands of years and now, all of a sudden because an influential minority, has a push or an agenda [they] totally reshape something that was found in our country… that is holy and sacred. There’s nothing more honorable than fighting for it, especially if we really care about our future generations.
Dude–I know! I totally felt the same way when they abolished slavery!!!
See how much of this fuckface you can stomach:
7 Comments on "David Tyree Hates the Gays"
Maybe he has a point…after all, since medical marijuana blew up in Colorado it’s been complete anarchy here…just like “they” predicted. Am I right?
But you know what, Tyree? We still love you (but only in a sexual way)!
Okay, I’ve watched the entire video, but I still have one last question: shouldn’t “fuckface” be hyphenated?
According to the 2011 MLA handbook, “fuckface” doesn’t require a hyphen since it refers to a specific sort of person as opposed to modifying a normal kind of face.
“totally reshape something that was found in our country…”
WTF?! is he talking about?
When was this sacred, whatever, found?
Of all the nerve! Who does this guy think he is to think that he has the right to express his own opinions? Not to mention, he is completely incoherent, unlike this article, which is very professional and well-written.
Ooh, striking too close to the bone, am I?
Allow me to make it abundantly clear: I believe Tyree has every right to “express his own opinions.” (You’ll have to point out where I indicate anything to the contrary.)
However, if his comments reveal him to be a myopic bigot whose words are incendiary and offensive, then I, too, have the right to skewer him accordingly. Fair game. After all, Tyree has gone out of his way to publicly espouse his viewpoint. This wasn’t a private conversation we all eavesdropped on–it was a piece of anti-gay propaganda.
Which leads me to give credit to Tyree for one thing: he’s not posting his idiotic sentiments anonymously like you.