Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstars

A New Weekly column by Ivyy Goldberg, with careful deliberation by the Donnybrook Board of Trustees

Ahhh Denver, a city that has a rich cultural and musical underground, teeming with talented lovely young people. And by talented lovely young people, I clearly mean fuckable musicians.

With so many, though, a girl or guy could get a little lost. Help us, Ivyy, you say? Every week I’ll be profiling the week’s most fuckable rockstar, and maybe telling you where to find him or her.

Folks living in Denver need to catch Laylights before they blow up and leave us wallowing in self pity, heartbroken at the thought that we could have known them when.

Folks also need to catch Chris, the bassist for Laylights, before he gets too cool for us- although we may already be too late for that, my dear readers. Chris is the epitome of cool. He’s quiet, kind, smart, and strong, and hott with 2 t’s. When Chris goes into his cave and finds his power animal, it’s probably a panther. I am Jack’s weak knees.

This crazy movin’ picture is from the band’s myspace!

This week’s pick- Chris from Laylights

Photo by 28 Deep

Name: Chris

Band: Laylights, bassist

Status: In a relationship

Why he’s this week’s most Fuckable Rockstar: He’s a rockstar with a capitol
R-A-W-K: while some rockstars just sweat, Chris exudes charisma from every pore of his body. We at the Academy love this characteristic, as it is in keeping with our core values (Academy members do not sweat. How very uncouth of you to even ask.)

Probable Lovemaking Style: Athletic and environmentally sound (Chris is a huge proponent of biking as transportation). Also, did I mention how cool he is?

Where to find him: Laylights are currently recording their new album, and should be playing a CD release party in February. You should also probably buy their new album when that time comes, if you know what’s good for you.

About the Author

The Donnybrook Writing Academy

The Donnybrook Writing Academy is the visual personification of absolute perfection.

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14 Comments on "Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstars"

  1. lois November 28, 2007 at 9:02 am · Reply

    i must admit, i had a crush on chris at one time. now the thought just makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

  2. Anonymous November 28, 2007 at 9:15 am · Reply

    Lois, you’s crazy! Everyone – straight men, gay women, everyone – wants to tap that fashionable ass. Crazy!

  3. n November 28, 2007 at 9:43 am · Reply

    Ahhhhh my eyes!

    Skin… to.. pale….. can’t… open… eyes…… going… blind….. (falls over and passes out)

  4. Special Occasion Bobby November 28, 2007 at 10:09 am · Reply

    God damn!
    That is one hot boy.

  5. Anonymous November 28, 2007 at 10:18 am · Reply

    As Chris is much like a brother to me, I can only respond with this: Ewwwwwwwww.

    Yet, I’m oddly proud that he has gained such notoriety.

    The cognitive dissonance is killing me.

  6. Cap'n Colleen November 28, 2007 at 10:19 am · Reply

    D’oh. That was me.

  7. Cassie November 28, 2007 at 10:24 am · Reply

    I have often wondered, who is it that can actually get away with a nipple ring.

    I think I have an answer.

  8. Dude, Seriously November 28, 2007 at 11:21 am · Reply

    that looks like a hotel bed to me, friends. and you know what time means.
    … um, what does that mean?

  9. 28deep November 28, 2007 at 12:31 pm · Reply

    you don’t even wanna know what “motel” that is.

  10. Anonymous November 28, 2007 at 1:23 pm · Reply

    I bet the bed’s vibrating, fueled by nickels.

  11. Col. Hector Bravado November 28, 2007 at 10:06 pm · Reply

    Your mom vibrates. Your mom is fueled by nickels.

  12. Col. Hector Bravado November 28, 2007 at 10:06 pm · Reply

    Denver’s Most Rockable Fuckstars! Yay! Saying stuff!

  13. Anonymous November 29, 2007 at 11:41 am · Reply

    seems kinda like a tool!

  14. what more can i say November 29, 2007 at 12:17 pm · Reply

    seems kinda like he’s GOT a tool. a big one!

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