Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstars

Time for a very special Valentine’s Day Edition of Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar!!


Ok so I know we at The Donnybrook Writing Academy have professed our love for Blue Million Miles before. Now it’s time for you to know why we get all flustered and giggly every time we mention their name. The reason, in a nutshell, is…



Johnny is so sexy it’s actually physically painful to be in his presence for too long. Seriously. When the Donnybrook Board of Trustees interviewed him at Donnybrook Manor for the prestigious honor of Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar it became like a game of Last Man Standing, with board members screaming in agony, begging for the sweet release of death, and passing out on the plush carpeting made of baby leopard skins. And Johnny just leaned against the fireplace, totally unperturbed, smoking his hash pipe and softly caressing the edge of his pashmina smoking jacket, his piercing eyes slowly scanning the room for survivors. Anyhoo….

Name: Johnny

Band: Drummer, Blue Million Miles

Status: Dating a model (of course).

Why He’s This Week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar: BMM plays “windblown indie rock”, according to the Denver Post. Now isn’t that sexy? Yes, yes it is.

Probable Lovemaking Style: Hair. Flying. Everywhere.

Possible Drawbacks: None. He’s so out of your league you’ll never actually be able to sleep with him, and in fantasy-land there are no drawbacks, so, none.

Where You Can Find Him: Blue Million Miles plays Benders on February 22nd. They also open for White Denim at the Bluebird on March 5th.

About the Author

Ivyy Goldberg, Esq.

Ivyy Goldberg, Esq. is Research Director and Writer of both Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstars and Handjob and a Reuben. Part time sex columnist, part-time Supreme Court Justice-inspired superhero.

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16 Comments on "Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstars"

  1. Col. Hector Bravado February 15, 2008 at 8:40 am · Reply

    Meh. I’ve had him.

  2. Bang Tango'ed February 15, 2008 at 9:15 am · Reply

    Ponytails are gross, and should only be worn by disciples of Jesus.

  3. Bang Tango'ed February 15, 2008 at 9:16 am · Reply

    and girls.

  4. Ivyy February 15, 2008 at 10:12 am · Reply

    Sad news, kids. A little birdie just told me that the Bluebird show has been cancelled. BMM will still play Benders on the 22nd, and they have a lovely show planned at the Hi-Dive in late March as well.

  5. The Goose February 15, 2008 at 10:33 am · Reply

    He sounds like a bad Muthafucker to me and Donnybrook is “Never”… and I repeat… “NEVER” wrong.

    I love you guys so much, my head aches.

    Blue Million Miles kills it and I am pleased I was able to do a show with them last September at the Old Curtis. Go see them.


  6. Bang Tango'ed February 15, 2008 at 11:16 am · Reply

    That sounds like the sound of gargling balls..

  7. Alex February 15, 2008 at 11:17 am · Reply

    Goose, how are you not making this list?? It’s a danged travesty.

  8. Morning Dew February 15, 2008 at 12:31 pm · Reply

    Cute and when Donnybrooke talks, we must LOISTEN,
    I recently returned backto Bouldr after spending tme in tehstage, studio and well, boudoir with memebers of Black Reble Motorcycle Club( yes, now ROB,is a real readmbaot and..) memebers of SPINDRIFT, Brian Jonestown massacre and well, The Pink Snowflakes of Portalnd.. etc.
    they are red hot and yeah, they can get the job done all night,,
    but then again, this blog is about Denver, so…?
    Tobad Jefferson Hamer just moved to NYcCfrom Great American TAXI. have you seen him? ummm..
    AntonNewcombe, and Any ABercormbie and Fitch Model ,Move over baby.. find him on myspace.
    HOIT HOT sweet Jesus HOT!

  9. Morning Dew February 15, 2008 at 12:37 pm · Reply

    well, having just returned form LA and spending time in the studio and in the bousdiorwith Brian Jonestown Massacre and Black rebel Motorcyle club and The Pink Snowflakes and well..
    they are HOT like red hot.. also.. Jefferson Hamer, just left for NYC, a former memebr of Great Americna Taxi, and HE is SMOKING! wow! and Rob Ofrm BRMC? yikes..
    but yes, Donny Brooke telles us the way and after all the blog is about Denver so..?
    Black rebel Motoecycle’s Peter hayes and BJM’s Keybopard player Rob Campenella, are.. like Fuckale to the last drop.
    Umm, WORD..
    XX Morning Dewy

  10. cowboy curse February 15, 2008 at 12:52 pm · Reply

    That dude’s a total hippie. Come see his band anyway though. they do rock. and nicer fellas i’ve yet to meet. no wait, sorry, they’re not nice. they’re total motherfuckin-could-care-less-rockstars.

  11. Bang Tango'ed February 15, 2008 at 12:55 pm · Reply

    Can we take morning dew’s computer away from him?

  12. sara February 15, 2008 at 10:34 pm · Reply

    Is this all Denver’s got? I mean there’s gotta be more, he’s a boy…

  13. Team Donnybrook
    godonnybrook February 16, 2008 at 1:28 pm · Reply

    re: Alex
    Goose has made it in this column. Check out the Sept. 27th edition.

  14. MAMA February 16, 2008 at 3:27 pm · Reply

    Cut your hair!

  15. Angora February 18, 2008 at 12:43 pm · Reply

    Some of you have been drinking hatorade. And some of you have been drinking. Just drinking.

  16. Angora February 18, 2008 at 12:43 pm · Reply

    ahem, I’m sorry, “hater-ade.” This proletariat slang doesn’t look good on me.

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