Dolce and Gabbana: Making Preschool a Pretentious Place

Even our Spawn Dresses Better Than You

When yours truly heard that Dolce and Gabbana had created a clothing line for people who are likely to still crap on them or upchuck on the creamy cashmere lushness, I giggled to myself.

This past month saw the release of D&G’s new line for children, which is “a miniature version of our signature line,” according to Stefano Gabbana. The last few years saw high fashion expanding into the children’s arena, like with Burberry and Lanvin creating signature pieces for the little tykes.

I can imagine these lucky kiddos saying to their friends on a play-date, “that dress is sooooo preschool!” The line I’d buy solely for namesake is Gucci’s “Gucci Gucci Goo” (I couldn’t make this stuff up, love).

I checked out the entire line feasting my eyes on the awesomeness that you could only find at a fashion house like Dolce and Gabbana. Of course I expected some signature leopard…but a onesie for $385?! Shiiiiit. There’s also corseted pieces to hold in that unsightly baby fat, too! The pieces are designed for newborns all the way up to ten year olds, when they’ll start hitting Saks in the “big kids” department.

My brother and his wife are about to welcome their own little nugget into the world at the end of September, so I will be an auntie. For my niece, I desperately want to buy that pink dress that the designers bedazzled the shit out of! If only I had an extra $500.00…