Elaine from Hot IQs
Written by Ivyy Goldberg, Esq. // May 15, 2008 // Denver's Most Fuckable Rockstars // 11 Comments
(WOXY)
Here’s a letter that came to my inbox recently, my lovelies:
Dear Ivyy:
Will you please profile more hot drummer sex kittens? Please? Pretty please?
Well, all right, Mr. Random Inbox Guy, but only because you said please.
This week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar is…..
Elaine from Hot IQs!!!!!
Name: Elaine
Band: Hot IQs, Drummer
Status: Her myspace profile is set to private, which effectively kills off my channel of research. Sorry, folks.
Why she’s this week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar: Chews bubble gum while she drums. Is incapable of taking a bad picture. Sexy, but in a non-threatening way, kind of like The Hot IQs music and persona in general–this is the kind of band that 13-year-olds can feel comfortable awkwardly masturbating to. (PS–I sincerely apologize for the Dangling Modifier in that last sentence, I’m writing this very early in the morning) (PPS–I also apologize for any offense anyone might take to the fact that I seem to be thinking about 13-year-olds masturbating at such an early hour of the morning, the hour that I write this.)
[audio:http://godonnybrook.com/v3/wp-content/themes/mimbo2.2/images/15-Duck-Cover.mp3|titles=Duck & Cover]
(Varsity Theater)
Probable Lovemaking Style: “Tight, bright, and more hook-laden than a pirate ship”. Hot. Oh wait, that describes their music. Zing!
Possible Drawbacks: Well, I don’t know the girl personally, but I imagaine she might be snooty. I mean, she’s kinda known as “the hot drummer” throughout Denver (and possibly beyond?), and I know if I were known as “the hot drummer” you bet your ass I’d be snooty. Snoot on, hot drummer! We salute you!
Where to find her: Hot IQs play the Hi Dive May 30th. They’re also playing a leetle thing on June 28th called the SoCo Music Festival (with Gnarls Barkley!). I don’t much care for that liquor myself (peasant juice), but the Festival promises to be interesting.
11 Comments on "Elaine from Hot IQs"
needs more bubble gum
I’d let her dangle my modifier.
or perhaps dive into her retromuff
Shit. Am I too old to be awkwardly masturbating to this music? I didn’t know there was a cutoff.
sorry, folks. she’s got a wicked awesome boyfriend. nice, smart, attractive, etc.
Also guys, Hot IQs has a video coming out in the future that has some pretty sexy extras in it. Keep an eye out.
I think that SoCo music festival is free as well…
She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Not snooty in the least! And she rawks…hardcore!!
oh yea, she’s hot
I needed to also note that she is the loveliest of ladies. Not remotely snooty. Kind and thoughtful and funny. She’s damn near perfect. And refuses to believe it. Which, of course, puts her even closer to perfect.
Your sentence doesn’t dangle! It has a preposition at the end, which is what I think you meant, but fuck that – it’s fine.
A dangling modifier is when the modifier of a sentence doesn’t correctly address the subject, like: Having masturbated vigorously, the computer was drenched in semen. The subject: The computer, cannot masturbate, nor can it drench itself in semen, even if the cutest thing ever, Elaine from Hot IQs is on the screen.
Your sentence may have a dangling modifier after all… after the dash! I just reread it. I just jizzed grammar everywhere.