How I Met Your Mother: Garbage Island

People of the world of Donnybrook…for the past two weeks I’ve been held captive by a group of rogue ninja. I was beaten, sleep deprived, and forced to watch endless videos of Justin Bieber. Torture! The story is an interesting one filled with desperation, romantic encounters and of course…the Swiss. I get the girl, blah blah blah. But, that’s not what I’m here to talk about. In my absence, the world of How I Met Your Mother has continued and now that I am back, I shall continue my mindless ranting.

Garbage Island begins at a Hong Kong airport in the year 2021. Ted’s flight has been canceled and he runs into Wendy the waitress. The show cuts back to the present day where Ted and Zoey are telling Wendy how they got together. Zoey then asks Ted to retrieve some of her personal belongings from her old apartment and assures him that it is with the doorman and that the Captain won’t be there. But, once Ted’s there he is stopped by the Captain and brought upstairs. Upstairs, the Captain retells the story of how he and Zoey broke up in a much different light than she had. He becomes angry when Ted tries to calm the situation.

The Captain: Who is this flower child and what has he done with my lion hearted friend Ted Mosby?

Gotta love The Captain. Ted doesn’t reveal the true situation and leaves. The next day he returns to find the box and is once again pulled aside by the Captain and is told that he knows who the culprit is that stole his Zoey. He thinks it’s the doorman but Ted helps him realize he’s better off without Zoey. He mentions that she doesn’t even like boats. Only after the Captain accepts his situation does Ted reveal (as he’s walking out the door) that he is the one who broke them up. He also retrieves the box but at this point it doesn’t really matter.

Meanwhile, Lily is super horny and hasn’t had any action in months. Barney pinpoints the exact date and then does the same for Robin:

Lily: You should work at a carnival.

Barney: I tried; they’re pretty strict with backgrounds.

Lily rants that Marshall has been so extremely busy with work and his mind has be absent with thoughts of his late father that there hasn’t been any time for the two of them. She makes a plan to rock his world but when he comes home and watches a documentary called Garbage Island which tells about an island that is completely made of garbage (ohhh, who would have guessed that?).  Barney freaks out and tries to start green initiatives instead of sexing up Lily.

Wendy meets a man on her way to take out the glass bottles and curses Marshall. The man she meets was a man fired from GNB because of Marshall. They end up falling in love and the show cuts back to the airport – oh full circle – and Ted smiles on and begins recanting the tale of how he met his wife but is cut short.

Marshall and Lily have a heart to heart outside in a garbage dumpster:

Marshall: He’ll never get to see how I turn out. My dad, you know, I used to… I used to always tell him that I’d be an environmental lawyer. And he was always so proud of me for that. But he never got to see the version of me that was anything but a corporate stooge. And now it’s too late, we’re starting a family, you know…

Lily: Are you avoiding sleeping with me because you don’t want to start a family?

Marshall: Lily, if we had a baby right now, that is just it for me. The cement will dry, and I will be stuck at GNB forever.

Lily: Marshall, if you want to quit your job and go work for the NRDC right now, then you need to do that right now. And then once you’ve cleaned up all the oceans and saved the planet, then we’ll start a family.

Oh!  Barney is also falling in love. Just thought I’d mention that.

Barney: Robin, three things. She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don’t chase.

How wrong you are Barney…how wrong you are!

Barney: I’m Barney Stinson, I don’t get smitten, I smite!

Alright Barney… I get it.

Barney: With great penis comes great responsibility.

Now you are just talking to talk! But, this is a true statement.

This episode seemed hastily put together and almost seemed to be a filler. It’s worth a watch just to stay up to date but on the whole I’d give it a B. The next episode is entitled A Change of Heart and is about Barney being all lovey-dovey. The review will be up soon.

Until next time…wait for it…wait for it…..Stay tuned!