Ian Cooke
Written by Ivyy Goldberg, Esq. // July 28, 2009 // Denver's Most Fuckable Rockstars // 11 Comments
Welcome, my loves, to a special edition “Jumping on the Bandwagon” Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar!!!
This past weekend, for those of you who live in a cave, under a rock, with the lights out and your fingers in your ears, was the Underground Music Showcase. It’s quickly becoming the South By Southwest of Denver, a showcasing of the awesome underground music that this city has to offer. Also, you can get really hammered because all the venues are in walking distance of each other.
So, me and JB, being the rawkstars that we are, were there ‘til the bitter end, folks, the BITTER END. And the absolute last show of the festival this year was the number one voted musician for the UMS. A musician who plays THE CELLO. How awesome is that?
[audio:http://godonnybrook.com/v3/wp-content/themes/mimbo2.2/images/12-The-Rot2.mp3|titles=The Rot]
Band: Ian Cooke Band
Status: Unsigned. (This is not a euphemism.)
Why He’s This Week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar: Like I said above, I completely recognize that I’m jumping on the bandwagon here. I mean, this guy has been like a fixture in the local music scene for a LONG time, and I’m just now getting around to seeing his pure and total fuckability. My apologies for the latecoming, Ian.
His music is rocky, folky, classical, sad, and eccentric, all at once. His band is well rehearsed and they all look like they have excellent hygiene. It’s a band you can take home to mom, but that you still find fascinating.
Probable Lovemaking Style: They call it forlorn folk rock. So, poetic lovemaking might be expected. And did I mention he plays the fucking CELLO?!?! Strong hands. Strong hands.
Possible Drawbacks: Throughout musical history, the cello has been compared to a woman. (seriously, there are, like, sonnets and shit written about that instrument). So if you get with Ian, you might have some competition in the form of a curvy wooden box with a soothing voice.
Where You Can Find Him: Ian plays with full band on July 29th at the Fox Theater for the Boulder release party of their new CD. They also play July 31st at the Hi Dive for the Denver release. See you there, hipsters!!
11 Comments on "Ian Cooke"
Hooray for pantaloons!
Ian has his hands all over that curvy [wooden] box. (This is not a euphemism. Seriously.) *wink, wink*
Why are all of denver’s most fuckable rockstars……..white? And if they’re not all white, they sure are fair-skinned. You know, I’ve heard that black people are sexually attractive too! Have you? It seems…….not. My question is, do you not think that they are or is it that only white people can be rockstars. I’m just doing my best to fathom how you could leave an entire racial group out of your fuckabilty list for as far as I looked back, well over two years. It’s your blog and you pick who you like, but you’re starting to remind me of perez hilton, in the fact I feel like you prolly wanna call me the n word right now. Do you?
Numbskull?
Not everything is a vast conspiracy against people of color. Sometimes they’re just blogs written ‘for fun.’ People without a sense of humor are very, very un-fuckable.
First of all, we’re flattered we’ve even gotten our little column to the point of anyone feeling left out…it’s nice to see people reading, and I’m glad you spoke up. While I’m pretty sure many of our picks for Denver’s Most Fuckable have a little ethnicity in them (this is America, after all), I can see how most of them seem pretty whitey-white upon first glance–just like Donnybrook does, even though we’re made up Eastern European, Cuban, Russian, Jamaican, Jewish, etc etc heritage.
But if there’s any discrimination going on, it’s across musical genres (we’re a bunch of hipsters), and there are tons of black hipsters in the world but not too many in Denver. We’re just working with the population at hand, you see…but we’re always searching for the new DMF. If you have anyone in mind, absolutely send them to GoDonnybrook@Gmail.com. And in fact, they don’t have to be hipster..we’re tired of that word, anyway. We get suggestions every day! And you’re right…they’re all white!
And that’s as far as I can reply in a spirit of open discussion…when it comes to your last sentence, I think it went completely over the line. You’ve never contacted us before, so it seems like a bit of a jump to accuse that we would want to call anyone “the n word” when we haven’t even started the discussion yet.
I’m sorry. I guess you’re right. Somehow it just reminded me of perez hilton. I always notice that he’s always picks random individuals and lathers them in praise about their incredible looks and none of them are ever anything other than some blonde haired blue eyed aryan masterpiece. He’s like a gay, latino hitler. He even called Beyonce ugly, which ya know, is crazy. And recently after getting pummeled by a black eyed peas manager he said in an interview that he wanted to call the offending BEP an n word so bad. It was sort of…….unsurprising. When one doesn’t find an entire race sexually attractive, or continually fails to mention them in their weekly or daily popularity contest, it no doubt belies a distaste for that said group. Or so it would seem. Your apparent problem is that you don’t see people of non anglican descent that are attractive and in your demographic in the music scene. That’s bullshit. I mean that guy who was on the cover of the westword a month ago or so, from Pirate Signal had pretty skinny pants on and his skin looked like it was glowing. It was nice skin. It was however, dark skin. But I mean that’s just one. What about DJ MUSA? I see him spinning at more hipster gatherings than I would care to mention I’m at. DJ Cavem Moetivation, who I first heard of through FM magazine, is very handsome, if you can look past is very dark chocolate complexion, that is. Females that I have seen around that are quite fuckable, i would imagine, include Isis Speaks, and Bianca Mckhan, I think it’s spelled, and Jai Harris three poets from the NATIONAL SLAM POET CHAMPIONS of 2006 I believe, who dabble in music frequently, and they are fucking smokin. I know you’ve seen them. Bianca’s on the wall of strangers right by City O City, which is pretty hipstered out. I know you see them. If you don’t, open your fucking eyes. I can understand having not noticed this far, I cannot however, understand this going further.
I guess all this resentment comes from my recent foray into the UMS. Which i must say, for me, was like being a drop of chocalate in a milk processing plant. It lead me to believe that the “Denver Underground Music Scene” was longhand for “whites only section”. The above mentioned musicians are beacons in this community and are very underground and were completely excluded. It was not called the indie rock fest, it was called the underground music showcase, so there is no reason for their exemption. Now I’m just saying how these things make me feel. In the earlier post, i didn’t mean to offend, again, int the spirit of open discussion, that’s just what it made me feel and think. As a young black woman who has cultural leanings beyond what would be expected of me, as far as music, film and fashion, I feel persecution from all sides. I however, would imagine , the free thinkers and spirits of the supposed independant music scene in this city might be a little more enlightened, but alas, apparently not.
And for action packed thrill larry, I realize it’s not a conspiracy, It’s an unfortuante coincidence. But if someone didn’t notice these things, and at least say something, because it IS what they are thinking, these things would never change or be challenged. I think it’s similar, but not exactly to things that happened in the past, like for instance, the civil rights movement, the feminist movement and the gay rights movement. Ever heard of em. And as far as line-crossing, I merely asked a question, I didn’t hurl epithets and insults like “numbskull”.
I guess I’m a bit confused here. I guess I thought she came swinging claiming everyone here is a racist? If I’m wrong….please set me straight. I don’t she said it out right, but claimed they purposefully neglected black people. Just wondering.
Yes, the pick is vanilla…very vanilla. (And if you must know, I am not.) But I say, talk to the lovely snobs of Donnybrook Academy and share with them your enlightenment instead of asking them if they want to drop the n-bomb. In their response, they pretty much did just that. To me, one way looks a bit more effective than the other. Don’t cast judgment because they haven’t seen the light, but take the time to guide them to it. One way guarantees some improvement.
But since, Dooblay Vay Say Jones is a caring man of incredible good looks and bottomless charm, I offer a profile of myself for Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar. Don’t let the fact I can’t sing or play an instrument get in the way. After all, if we’re breaking down racial barriers, lets break down some others as well.
Here’s a little anecdote from a tour The Ian Cooke Band went on which will perhaps add to this discussion; not that I’ve got the Cooke family tree in front of me, but someone complaining about all these nominees being white made me think of this.
We were in the Chicago area, and one of Cooke’s Mexican-American friends (who is from Denver, but was visiting family in Chicago) insisted that we — instead of sleeping in the van like we had been — stay at her grandfather’s house. Mind you her grandfather had just died, and the day we were invited to stay the night was the day before the funeral, but she didn’t seem to think that this was much of a problem, considering that we would sleep-in — as we were up late — and the family members would be leaving early for the funeral, so the two groups would not (theoretically) impact each another.
To keep a long story short: morning came early for the weary Cooke troupe, and Cooke himself was found at the center of a surprising controversy, since he decided to sleep in the front room. Voices and moods were obviously escalating; even the rest of us from the upstairs could make out most of the commotion from the other side of the house, and we took the tension as a clue to pack-up our things and leave as quickly as possible. The climax came when we heard someone shout — after Cooke’s “friend” had refused to make him leave for the fifth or sixth time — “I’m calling the police!” The rest of us disheveled and groggy touring musicians made our way sheepishly (but quickly) through the crowd of mourning Latinos frowning upon us with disapproval. When we reached the main room, the person on the phone had apparently succeeded in contacting the police, as we overheard this:
“There is an uninvited NEGRO sleeping in my dead father’s house! Please come quickly!”
We saw the squad car arrive in our rear-view mirror, and fortunately they didn’t follow us.
So, the moral of the story is this: Ian Cooke — if he’s white at all — is white like Tiger Woods is white, but he’s certainly not white like the rest of the honkeys previously nominated.
I think I could have better said that thusly: if a family of Mexican-American’s think you’re black, it’s probably safe to say that you’re at least not while. (What’s more: I’ve met Ian Cooke’s father, and he’s not white either.)
So, if anything, Ian Cooke is the first non-caucasian nominee in this category, so there’s your barrier-breakage, or the fudge-ripple in your “very vanilla” if you will.
Also: thanks for noticing that we all do, in fact, have excellent hygiene.
Thanks, Sean A.M. The irony of all this. And what a horrible experience!
Doublay Vay Say Jones, you are a caring man to volunteer, and we will gladly do our duty to look over boudoir photos of you. We’ll just give you a tambourine or something–instant musician!
Another major positive to come out of this: the suggestion of that dude from the Pirate Signal. We do think he is yummy. In terms of your other suggestions, Excluded, you imply that we’ve either seen them somewhere or need to open our eyes. Try sending us a press release–that’s how they do it in the music industry! We are running this rickety machine on top of our other day jobs, and don’t *actually* have all the leisure time in the world (shhh, don’t tell) to comb through the multitudes of fliers at the open mic night at City O City. And I find press releases get you much further than, say, starting an angry comment war.
i thought this article was about ian…ian is far from white..his dad is dark as dark gets. His afro is real. Quit bitching . Denver is a whitebread town. Ian is ethnic. If you have a problem with it rock the fuck out and get your face there. You practice for six hours a day…..rockstar is earned. Color has nothing to do with it. Not to mention guy up top ian is gay! LITERALLY.