Jason from Astrophagus
Astrophagus is a Denver Band. It is pronounced ass-tro-FAY-gus, NOT a-STRAW-fuh-gus. Everyone now- “Ass-tro-FAY-gus”. Very good.
Astrophagus plays, oh let’s call it “experimental indie” music, which is actually better than that genre assignment would have you believe. It’s very pretty and kinda sounds like Neutral Milk Hotel. I bet the dudes in Astrophagus really like Neutral Milk Hotel. Am I right, guys?
ANNNNDD I’m rambling. Here’s the thing- I’m sitting on my front porch, wearing a cowboy hat and writing while listening to the pretty pretty music that Astrophagus serves up on their myspace page, and this music just kinda makes everything feel a little spacier and prettier.
That’s why this week’s Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar is….
Jason from Astrophagus!!!!!!!!!
Status: Single. Annnddd, GO.
Why he’s this week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar: I’m gonna spell this out in a list today, Lovelies:
1. Jason is a musician. But not a pretentious one. He’s very funny and approachable. Really- I met him a few times, and as we all know I’m the funniest and most charming person on the planet, but HE made ME laugh!! I know, right? It was totally a switcheroo for ol’ Ivyy Goldberg.
2. Jason is a ladies man. I’ve heard this from a lot of people. (Inappropriate Aside- when you hear someone call someone else a “ladies man”, don’t you just kinda assume it means they have a huge schlong? That’s what I always assume. Anyhoo. Carry on.)
3. Jason works at a coffee shop, so anyone who’s banging him could probably score some free cappuccinos or something. There’s not a whole lot I wouldn’t do for a good cappuccino, you know?
Probable Lovemaking Style: Experimental indie. He’ll rock your world, but do so whilst wearing black thick-rimmed glasses.
Possible Drawbacks: Well, it depends on you, really, my dear (or dears, as it were). Jason is a musician, an artist, and a barista. He will NOT be confined by traditional standards of love-making. Can you handle the undertaking (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN)?
Where to find him: Jason plays a solo show at the DPUMS on Friday July 24th at Rock the Cradle at 3:45 (don’t let him around the CHILDREN and their accessories!!)*, and Astrophagus plays the Hi-Dive on Saturday the 25th at 6:30. Tickets and details at www.dpums.com
*this joke was stolen from Heather of fuel/friends fame. I just thought it was hilarious so I totally poached it. Thanks, darling!