Jon from Achille Lauro

Written by  //  August 11, 2009  //  Denver's Most Fuckable Rockstars, Sex and Love  //  10 Comments

Hey there my Most Awesome Ones, you know what name I really like? The name Jon.

This week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar is….

Jon from Achille Lauro!!!!!!!!!


Name: Jon

Band: Achille Lauro

Status: You know what? I’m sick of this part of the column- contrary to popular belief, I hate having to quasi-cyber-stalk the week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar just to find out if they have a significant other or not. I’m officially retiring this question- find out your damn self what his status is.

Why He’s This Week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar: Jon plays the bass, which, as we already know by now, I find really sexy. And there are few bass players I have seen that play the bass with more of a certain jay nay say kwah than Jon, my Lovelies.

Probable Lovemaking Style: I first saw Achille Lauro at the Underground Music Showcase, and they used a TON of computers, which they used to compliment the fun yet angsty white boy blues set they played. So, my guess is, there would be some mechanical toys involved. And we’ll just leave it at that, my dears.

Possible Drawbacks: Computer geeks can sometimes be awesome in bed. But they can also sometimes by D&D-playing Dos-speaking HTML-joke-making nerd boys. I guess you’ll just have to take your chance and find out which one Jon is.

Where You Can Find Them: October 31st is some sort of holiday, my loveys. As such, Achille Lauro will be playing some sort of party that will be held at the Hi-Dive. Be sure to dress in your finest frocks for this very important holiday!


About the Author

Ivyy Goldberg, Esq.

Ivyy Goldberg, Esq. is Research Director and Writer of both Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstars and Handjob and a Reuben. Part time sex columnist, part-time Supreme Court Justice-inspired superhero.

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10 Comments on "Jon from Achille Lauro"

  1. Benjamin St. Maur August 12, 2009 at 10:03 am · Reply

    Jon also plays bass in Action Packed Thrill Ride, who are, for my money, the best band playing music in Denver right now. They’re literally the nicest guys ever, and the music is incredibly earnest and sincere. Just wanted to point that out. I feel like they get snubbed a little too often in local press, so I’m trying to do my part. Go to an Action Packed show, you Donnybrook readers with the mushy brains. I command you. You will not be disappointed.

  2. GoDonnybrook August 12, 2009 at 10:29 am · Reply

    Oh, we totally LOVE Action Packed Thrill Ride! Thanks Benny.

  3. Action Packed Thrill Lucas August 12, 2009 at 11:24 am · Reply

    Thanks Benjamin, you’ve truly earned the ‘Saint’ part of your name! As for Jonny, I say it’s about time. Dude’s one sexy mutha!

    And for the record, Jon’s status is…well, if you’re retiring the question, I guess it really doesn’t matter.

  4. Ethereal JB August 13, 2009 at 2:00 pm · Reply

    What a great name! What a great band!

    Hot pictures from UMS over at Gigbot:

  5. jonny August 13, 2009 at 2:56 pm · Reply

    can’t wait to tell my mom!

  6. Benjamin St. Maur August 13, 2009 at 3:19 pm · Reply

    Yeah, Mrs. Evans is going to be so proud. Especially of the “most fuckable” part.

  7. Team Donnybrook
    godonnybrook August 13, 2009 at 4:43 pm · Reply

    We have had a proud mother comment before! I think it was Mama Cain. Yes.

  8. Hydell August 15, 2009 at 5:48 pm · Reply

    You know what would be hot, if the two most fuckable jonnys had a ninja dual over who is hotter…Haaaaay

  9. The Bartender August 16, 2009 at 6:01 pm · Reply

    When Jon delivers my Fat Jacks he does it with such swagger there is at least one drunken lady who comes up to me and says “Who’s that?” and I say, “That, my dear girl, is none other than ol’cock-sure jon from Achille Lauro. I hear he has a battle club of a penis.” Fuckable? Just try it ladies. Just try.

  10. mike marchant September 2, 2009 at 4:48 pm · Reply

    jonny is sexy.

    and i concur with Benj, Action Packed Thrill Ride = excellent dudes, excellent music

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