Mark from Widowers
So many Fuckable Rockstars, my lovelies, and so little time. But it could be worse, I suppose… at least we’re not in Philadelphia.
This week we’re proud to introduce an up and coming band, recently named Best Band Ever in the Whole Wide World by Westword Magazine’s “Best Of” Issue.
And the band’s Most Fuckable Rockstar? Well, I’ll just let the words of the lead singer speak for themselves:
“This is what makes Mark so sexy: he has been thrown out of multiple venues at HIS OWN shows— and, no shit, so has his mother. His mother has been tossed from the Larimer Lounge and Cervantes.”
A rockstar getting thrown out of his OWN shows? A rockstar mother you just want to do shots with? There’s absolutely no arguing with the sheer fuckableness of…
Mark from Widowers!!!!!
Band: Widowers, Bassist
Status: I’m entirely too lazy to keep trying to figure out relationship status every week. Figure it out your damn selves.
Why he’s this week’s Most Fuckable Rockstar: Well, I already wrote about the inherent fuckability of bassists in a past column. Now, what I need is for a knowledgeable reader to explain to me the differences between regular rock bassists and psych-rock bassists like Mark. Anyone?
Probable Lovemaking Style: Psych-rocky. But what the hell does that MEAN?!?! I’m at a loss on this one, I must admit.
Possible Drawbacks: Seriously, I’m totally outta my element here. Psych-rock? What the hell is that?
Where to find him: OK, here’s where things get interesting, folks. The Donnybrook Writing Academy just happens to have free tickets to the Widowers CD Release Show at the Larimer Lounge Thursday, April 24th. And we want, nay, we’re begging, to give them to YOU. But you’re gonna have to earn ‘em.
So here’s what you do. Write a love letter to Mark. Being Denver’s Most Fuckable Rockstar has awoken a hunger for attention in him that must be filled- he demands for the people, male AND female, to tell him how great he is. So make it snarky. Make it heartfelt. Make it hilarious. And send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Be sure to include some way for us to get in contact with you and we’ll get you the tickets. And we’ll see you at the show, you love-sick suckers, you.
Editor’s Note: We’re giving this one away for free on the website, kids. But from now on, if you want free tickets to shows, access to super secret special Donnybrook content, free mp3s, and backrubs delivered directly to your inbox, you’ll have to become one of the Donnybrook Eliterati. Click here to receive the weekly Donnybrook Eliterati Communique. You know you want to.