No One Calls Han Solo a Bitch

In a month heavy with Avengers hype, let’s take a look at a true hero of American cinema. 

When we are talking about heroes there is one badass that cannot be ignored (and chances are he won’t let you) Han Solo; The original anti-hero.  You might think that the original Star Wars trilogy was all about Luke Skywalker and his path to becoming a Jedi, stopping his father, and saving a galaxy that was far far away- you’d be wrong.  You’ve got an intricate love triangle between Han Solo, Leia, and Luke.  There’s a rebellion going on against the Sith Empire and all Han wants to do is make some money to repay a debt he owes to Jabba the Hutt; a space gangster. 

One of Solo’s most notable features is his ship, The Millennium Falcon.  The Falcon was won off of Lando Calrissian in a hand of sabacc, a card game. Solo brags that the Falcon once made the Kessler run in “less than twelve parsecs“.  Scholars have often refuted this claim because parsecs are a measurement of distance not time.  It might have just been that Solo wanted to impress his new “friends” by making up false information or it could have just been bad writing.  Either way, the Falcon is a force to be reckoned with. 

Along with Han Solo being such a galactic man of mystery, he is also one controversial bastard.  Who shot first, Han or Greedo?  There is a scene in the original trilogy that has caused much discussion and debate.  During Episode IV: A New Hope Han is talking to Greedo in the Cantina:

Han: Even I get boarded sometimes. Do you think I had a choice?

Greedo: You can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your ship.

Han: Over my dead body.

Greedo: That’s the idea. I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.

Han: Yes, I’ll bet you have.

Bam.  Han shoots Greedo.  Over the years this has become one of the most hotly-debated altered scenes in all of Star Wars (if you don’t count George Lucas superimposing Hayden Christensen into one of the final scenes.  Yeah, we’re all still calling bullshit on that one).   Lucas has gone back and changed the scene to show Greedo shooting first and in later versions have them fire simultaneously to make Han not appear to be a “cold blooded killer.”  Dude, in Star Wars… its kill or be killed.  I’m sure we can all understand that having such a fantastic character being so cutthroat wouldn’t be a popular decision but that’s not always the case.  The fandom decided long ago that no matter what changes were made… Han Shot First.

Han Solo is a scoundrel, a smuggler, one cocky bastard and unfortunately (to him), a lover.  He didn’t want to fall in love, he was fine being alone. But, Leia and her gold bikini was an unstoppable force:

Leia:  I love you.

Han: I know.

How can you be so badass with such a short line?  Han won the affection of Leia over Luke (which would have been weird considering they were actually brother and sister) without much effort.  So, next time you’re trying to win the heart of a girl- just do the Han Solo and be apathetic .

Han Solo goes from being a lonely man with a tall Wookie best friend to someone who became part of a team to save the galaxy!  He makes sacrifices for his friends and for the greater good; Han from A New Hope wasn’t that type of person.  If you think about it…Star Wars is a coming of age tale about Han Solo and really it doesn’t get much better than that. 

Don’t believe me?  Watch Star Wars and find out for yourself.