One Year Ago Exactly This Day

I just wish it was one year ago exactly today; right this second and I would be one week from seeing you for the first time, after being in Love from afar for months – dying; flying; dreaming every minute away into the next; like Christmas morning would feel; and You were My Love and My Whole Heart and I couldn’t believe how very incredibly much I was in Love— more than ever, anyone, anything, ever. Lots more. Super lots more.

I wish it was one year ago exactly today and my mind and heart were full of Magic and Wonder and Longing – a sweet baroque swelling cadence of Potential and Dreams; I wish it was one year ago exactly this day and as I percolated with Pure Real Love for the First and Only Time; as Fire played my insides; as I rode the beams of Electricity that connected Us lo these 842 miles; flashing movies of Maybes and All the Love in All the World and all the Waiting and Waiting and WAITING to finally see You was now whittled down to a countable number, a human number, a place and a time and I just levitated on; smiling and beguiling and I wish it was one year ago exactly this day and as I stepped from my car, a runaway pickup truck hopped the curb, its driver- a fortyish meth-head- was mid-heart attack as he sped and cringed and I even heard it, somehow, but nothing overcame the Music of You and in one week I would hold You close to Me and tell You how Divine You are and We would get to laughing like fits; like We did; because You’re so brilliantly hilarious and I would stare at You – for You were The Most Beautiful Girl I Ever Saw – and I couldn’t catch my breath: it was only 168 hours until I saw You at long last and I beamed, took one step and even with the clatter and roar and the woman yelling and somebody blowing their horn it was all so very Far Away because I was with You in my Mind and I drew my hobophone from my blazer to text You, the old pickup landing, jouncing with the scrape of a breaking axle and bumper chrome tearing at the asphalt of the lot and only then did I even turn.

I turned and in one-tenth-of-one second the nose had bounded upward again, like a kind of industrial monster to devour Me and I smiled because I knew *exactly* how I was going to tell You this story when I saw You and the faded cinnamon metal of the truck blasted me with its momentum and in a flashing instant I had been separated thoracically; my head collapsing into itself as it lost the strength test against the hood of the pickup which sailed over one more slight hop as it struck the storefront, exploding the glass and bending the beams and eventually lost enough power to come to a hot halt and my upper half was a smear but what was left on top carried a hint of a smile there and I was so in Love with You I couldn’t wait to see You and I wish that it was one year ago exactly today and this all happened; every bit of it; and I Went, just then, in All Perfection.