Please Follow Me On Twitter So I Can Feel Whole
I can’t make any guarantees for my self-esteem if you don’t follow me on Twitter. I might relapse into an emo stupor not unlike the Great Basement Confinement of 1998 (after the ninth grade dance).
Okay, I’m making all of that up to get Twitter followers. I don’t mean to rub it in, but I kind of own a writing academy. I’ve never had trouble making friends. So don’t follow me on Twitter. See if I care.