Project Runway All Stars Premieres!

Written by  //  January 6, 2012  //  Televised Entertainment in Review  //  No comments

Alistair’s On Pins & Needles – Will her dearest Mondo finally get the win?

The grand prize for Project Runway All Stars is utter insanity – almost half a million dollars worth of stuff, including a year as a guest editor at Marie Claire and their very own studio stocked with the tools they need to further their careers. My guess is that they had to make the kitty super sick in order to get some of these people to come back to the competition that put them on the map – I was pleasantly surprised to see Austin Scarlett there, I know he’s doing really well for himself designing gowns so it’s cool that he’s back… but alas, my heart belongs to another.

None other than official Donnybrook bestie, Mondo Guerra was back to (hopefully – fingers crossed) get the win that he was completely robbed of in his season. The only bright side is that the prize this time around is so much bigger – so maybe it’s a good thing that Mondo held out and is here now to win even more awesomeness!

So, Dirk and I nestled  in by the fire to reinstate our weekly PR viewing party (which is really just me, Dirk, Mumsy and all the tiny doggies getting together and getting completely bombed on champagne while poor Consuela tries to keep up with all the ice cubes Mumsy throws at the screen when her favorites don’t get enough screen time – what can I say, she’s a passionate TV watcher, it runs in the family) and we’re all hoping Mondo gets the win this time that he truly deserves.

So the new cast is revealed, and some of them I had to really sit there and scratch my head as to why these people were asked to come back. (Elisa? Sweet P? April Johnston??!!?) Others I totally get – Austin, as I mentioned, was also robbed of a win, in my opinion, and Jerell should’ve gone much farther in his season. I’m a little irked to see Kenley back since she came off like such a snot in her season but that’s probably because I’m completely obsessed with Tim Gunn and she was ridiculously flippant and disrespectful to him in her season.

Which is why I think it was a brilliant move to replace all the judges and the mentor (sorry Tim, one love) with new people – Dirk and Mumsy cried foul over Lifetime’s decision to replace the usual panel with new faces but I think it was incredibly smart – these contestants faced those other judges and lost, and they’ve got history with Tim Gunn – the only way to truly ensure that these designers are going to get a fair shake this time was to get rid of the judges and give everyone a new chance to win. So stepping in for Heidi, Nina, Michael and Tim are designers Isaac Mizrahi and Marchesa’s Georgina Chapman, along with supermodel Angela Lindvall who also serves as host. Stepping in for Tim is Marie Claire EIC Joanna Coles, who came off a little stiff in the first episode but def gave great advice to the designers, so I’m giving her a pass for not being Tim (a temporary one, who knows what’ll happen next week).

For the first episode they resurrected the old unconventional materials challenge, which had my eyes rolling into the back of my head (which had nothing to do with mixing champagne and barbiturates, I swear) until Angela reminded everyone that it was the first challenge of the very first episode (which Austin won, btw) – so it kind of makes sense. For the most part everyone did a fairly decent job, but there were two that just made no sense to me whatsoever –

Elisa threw this crap out on the runway – she of the spit-mark blessings and giant puppets. There’s supposed to be a story written on the wings, and that part of it I actually don’t mind – but what the fuck is up with that K-mart special bargain bin end of summer sale mismatched tankini thing she’s got her model wearing?

Elisa ended up going home, but I thought Sweet P’s stupidly lazy washcloth dress should’ve been the one to get the boot – at least Elisa put some creativity into her design – Sweet P sewed some cheap ass towels together and slapped some plastic belts around it and called it a day. I was shocked that she didn’t get sent packing.

But to me the biggest crime was April Johnston completely ripping off Michael Costello – I seem to remember that being a common issue during her season and really disliking her for it. But no worries Michael – your dress was way better.

And that, my dearests, is when the shit hit the fan – because once again, my Mondo dearest was ROBBED – utterly robbed. Just look at this:

How awesome is that dress? Not to mention that he made it out of every material you could possibly think of – it was completely brilliant, it fit his model perfectly, and it didn’t look cheap in any way –

Which I can’t say about Rami’s fucking dress – yeah, it looks kind of neat – but it doesn’t fit her at all! Unless she’s got one giant tit that goes from her breastplate to her stomach – then yeah, it looks great.

Ugh. So – Dirk, Mumsy and I are currently on hour 16 of an all-night bender, trying to drown our sorrows over the fact that our beloved came in second. You’re not second in our hearts, Mondo! Nobody puts Baby in a corner!!

 

About the Author

Alistair Blake Arabella

“Alistair Blake Arabella” is the brainchild of entertainment writer and managing editor Vanessa “2 Fingers” Berben . If you’re missing the latest refill of your Dexedrine prescription, there’s a good a chance Alistair’s in your bathroom and has already crushed it up and snorted it. Now be a good little kitten and fetch her drink. If you’d like to receive the hallowed word of Alistair drop a line to AskAlistair@gmail.com – you just may be in the next episode of “Ask Alistar” if you’re very, very lucky.

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