Shiny Things to Buy for Your Servants
1. Nail polish + Nivea hand creme
This entry is a “two fer.” I am told that is what you call it when you get two things when you were only expecting to get one. Which is pretty much what happened to me when I went to my local Target (pronounced Tar-jehh) and found these two amazing items for (practically) the price of one! The nail polish is Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear in the color “Celeb City.” Basically it is silver with silver sparkles. ROCK. And it cost less than three dollars. I think it was like $2.49. For long-wearing nail color (I can vouch that it lasts) that is basically an insane price. THEN, before I could even exit the cosmetics aisle(s), I found this awesome Nivea hand/foot/body creme. It is essentially super-concentrated Nivea body lotion in a super-purse-friendly size. And in a spill-proof container, since it comes in a tin with a lid AND is so thick that you can turn it upside down while the lid is off and it will not budge even a tiny bit. It’s perfect for softening scruffy feet and elbows and you can totally take it with you on an airplane, so it’s practically TSA-approved. Which, as all you frequent flyers/jetsetters know, is something you can’t say about most lotions. This little gem cost exactly 99 cents. That’s right folks, less than a dollar! At least, until the government made me give them extra money for something called “taxes.”
BUY IT at your local Tar-jehh
2. Bad Weather California‘s split 7″ w/ High Water Marks
Bad Weather California has a weird name, because a) they’re a Denver-based band and b) they actually play sort of breezy, unconcerned psych-pop-rock, not dark gloomy anything. That’s OK, because we love them anyway. And they love their fans. Which is why they’re always doing stuff like pressing awesome split 45s like this one, randomly sprinkling the covers with shiny gold paint and selling them for five bucks. PLUS, each 45 comes with a bonus sticker (not a band sticker, just a random one, which is so much cooler somehow). Mine is of some sort of whale. But I probably will never actually stick it on anything, since I am one of those rock nerds who must keep everything in it’s original packaging at all times or my head will physically EXPLODE. Plus, I hear that eventually someday it will be worth more money this way. Not that I’m in it for the money (obviously, or I’d have some). The BWC song is called “It Don’t Matter.” Which pretty much sums it all up, in my opinion.
(P.S. HOLY CRAP I just checked their website and this record is now on sale for only THREE DOLLARS, you can thank me later)