Trivia Night at the Old Chicago at Tamarac Square
It’s Trivia Night at the Old Chicago at Tamarac Square. I’ll let you imagine the room’s contents. It’s everything you picture.
I can put up with this room because my girl is here, and because my girl is the most cutest thing I have ever seen — the deadly variety of cute whose smile is like high-voltage moonlight pouring through your quaking hands — the barking of the trivia MC into her microphone and the cloying pizza rolls dipped in ranch are OK. They’re backdrop.
But the first song, the song that this heavy, straw-haired MC plays while giving the assembled trivia teams time to answer the questions, is “Interstate Love Song” by Stone Temple Pilots. This is one of the worst songs by one of the worst bands of all time. I want everybody here mowed down.
Answer: Winston Churchill
The second song is “Desert Rose” by Sting. This song should be wadded up and sharpened on a grimy cell floor in Pelican’s Bay and shoved up Sting’s ass, then Sting should be shoved up the MC’s ass.
Answer: can’t remember. It’s a sports one. I’m bad at that. Something about a former defensive end who was on a sitcom.
Answer: Bernard Goetz.
Answer: The Gettysburg Address.
“Rock Me Amadeus” follows.
Answer: got it wrong.
Answer: Bikini Atoll.
She is so goddamned cute and I love her so much it just hurts me. Damn. I’m sprung.
It’s Trivia Night at the Old Chicago at Tamarac Square.
***Editor’s Note: to see some *good* trivia, stay tuned: Elitist Hipster Snob has been asked to be Celebrity Quizmasters for a Geeks Who Drink trivia night!!!! Tuesday, July 10th at the Irish Snug at 8 pm.