The Best ‘Worst Dinner Ever’ EVER.

Written by  //  August 21, 2012  //  Televised Entertainment in Review, The Theatre  //  3 Comments

Jesse’s Exchange with Skyler this Weekend Still has me Giggling

This week’s “Buyout” started with a somber, eerie breakdown of the murdered boy’s bike as they melt it in acid. It reminds us of the first season, when a much more innocent Jesse and Walter set about trying to dissolve a body in the same fashion.

They’re creepy-pro’s at it now, but Jesse doesn’t take part and I was wondering where he went off to as Walter and Mike assisted Todd with stark faces all around, but when Todd takes a break to smoke a cigarette we see Jesse waiting outside. Todd actually attempts small talk, but when he shrugs and says “Man, shit happens, huh?” I wanted to punch him in the face as hard as Jesse did.

Todd continues to be the biggest piece of shit on the planet by insisting on defending himself, even trying to use his family connections in prison to show the others he’s a valuable asset. Look buddy, we all get you did what you thought you had to, but that doesn’t mean you need to be so nonchalant about it. Hang your fucking head in shame like an adult and express how sorry you are that you did what you did. It’s over. It was horrible, but in their world he did what he had to in order to keep them all safe. I get it, now there’s no need to be such a heartless dick about it on top of it. They excuse him and discuss his fate amongst themselves. Jesse moves for firing him but Mike confirms that Todd has family in prison and they could be of help (or hindrance). Walter convinces them the best course of action is to let him stay as opposed to paying him off to keep silent or outright killing him.

Gomez actually has a tail on Mike, who’s playing in the park with his granddaughter and pretending not to know they’re there. He scribbles a note and places it under a trashcan; Gomez thinks it’s a dead drop and goes to snatch it. Of course it’s a note to them: “Fuck You.” Man I love Mike! He’s even listening to them at home on his laptop. Such a badass, he’s quickly replacing Walter for the top spot in my TV-heart.

Marie and Skyler are touching base, talking about the kids and Skyler’s fake therapy. But she’s unable to keep her front up and breaks down, overwhelmed by the whole situation. Marie tries hard to pump her for details and she admits the kids aren’t safe and that she and Walt are bad parents. Marie mistakenly assumes she’s talking about her affair with Beneke and Skyler plays along, smiling with fake relief to finally have her “secret” out but secretly seething that Walt told Marie about it.

Walt and Jesse are watching TV at their latest cook-site-house when news of the missing boy flashes on the screen, making Jesse freak out with guilt. Something tells me when Walt says he hasn’t slept at all since the kid’s death that he’s outright lying to Jesse’s adorable face. This is made all the more clear when Jesse hears Walt whistling to himself like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Jesse gets a phone call that must be from Mike because when Walt shows up at Vamonos they’re both waiting for him. Instead of the “You’re becoming a psycho” intervention I was hoping for, Mike informs them he’s being tailed by Hank and Gomez.

Walt totally flips his shit when he finds out Mike’s been followed for weeks now. That’s when Mike tells him he’s out, and Walt assumes Jesse will take over distribution but Jesse says he’s decided to leave as well. Walt balks at doing this when they’re sitting on so much product but Jesse and Mike have it all figured out – they’re going to sell their two thirds to another operation in Phoenix, $5k for each of them. Walt of course thinks this is a stupid idea, as they could make so much more money if they just kept making their product.

Mike and Jesse meet up with this guy in the desert anyway. They’re going to take a gallon to test and then hopefully buy the rest of what they have, 665 gallons (love that in total it’s 666 gallons). But the buyer gets sketched out when he realizes that they’re only selling him two thirds of what they have, meaning that Blue will still be on the market since they’re missing a third of the product. Jesse calls Walt in the middle of the night to try and get this settled and is shocked to be invited to his house.

He tries to convince Walter to go in with them on selling his share of the methylamine but Walt still refuses, bringing up Gray Matter from forever ago when he let himself get bought out by his friends and give up his share, missing his chance to have made billions. As he stirs his drink, he tells Jesse he’s in the business of crafting an empire. He’s not here for chump change like a few mil.

Suddenly Skyler comes home and the most awkward (but HILarious) dinner ensues, totally trumping the Harris’ on Mad Men last season. Skyler’s pissed that Walt told Marie about the affair and basically makes everyone at the table with a penis (which is everyone but her) feel about an inch tall (insert penis comparison here and pause for laughter) – if you’d like a scary window into Arabella Manor: her little sassy wine glass/bottle walk off is how every one of our family dinners end. Mumsy saunters off with a houseboy and a bottle of Royal DeMaria as Dirk and I retreat to the West Wing giggling furiously at all the cocaine and catty fuckery that’s about to commence.

Mike’s going to let this deal go through whether Walt likes it or not. He catches Walt at Vamonos trying to get his third of the methylamine before they can sell it out from under his nose. Mike sits with him all night to keep him from taking it but in the morning he ties Walt to the radiator to keep him restrained while he runs an errand. Walt tries to pull a coffee pot closer, possibly to break the glass and use it to cut the zip tie holding him but when that fails he uses the exposed wires in the machine’s cord to burn it off (and himself in the process). Hard. CORE.

The errand Mike had to run was going to see the DEA with his trusty lawyer Saul Goodman to accuse them of stalking and let them know they were filing a restraining order. The threat will keep them off Mike’s scent for a day, plenty of time for him to make the methylamine deal. But when he gets back to the garage he discovers he’s been cleaned out and bum rushes Walt as Jesse tries to yell for him to stop and hear Walt out. Mike gives him that “Man I really want to shoot you right now” slight barrel push against Walt’s head and asks him if it’s true – Walt’s creepy side eyed assurance of “Everybody wins” makes a fantastically unsettling cliffhanger. There are only two episodes left of the first half of the last season – I think I may pee my pants in excitement. That’s so uncouth, but it can’t be helped!

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Alistair Blake Arabella

“Alistair Blake Arabella” is the brainchild of entertainment writer and managing editor Vanessa “2 Fingers” Berben . If you’re missing the latest refill of your Dexedrine prescription, there’s a good a chance Alistair’s in your bathroom and has already crushed it up and snorted it. Now be a good little kitten and fetch her drink. If you’d like to receive the hallowed word of Alistair drop a line to – you just may be in the next episode of “Ask Alistar” if you’re very, very lucky.

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3 Comments on "The Best ‘Worst Dinner Ever’ EVER."

  1. Mark in Omaha August 21, 2012 at 3:55 pm · Reply

    It was a great show and that was the most awkward dinner ever. Award dinner scene has almost become a cliche of sorts, they just set the bar so high I don’t think anyone will be able to top it. I liked that they finally gave some back story on Walt and his former company. It came out a couple of seasons ago that his former best friend and his former girl-friend managed to hook up, hence the rift between them. But selling out for a few thousand? His behaviour starts to make some sense now. Remember the birthday party for his former buddy way back when, the fancy house, fancy party, big shot CEO. And Walt with a crappy house, crappy car, crappy insurance, crappy marriage (?), and CANCER!

    I’m a little undecided about Skylar and their marriage pre-cancer. It’s easy to diss her and call her the B word, but she has stayed with him, was supportive during his illness, pushed for him to get better treatment, all while being pregnant. It couldn’t have been easy for her either, she had a crappy job prior to getting pregnant and with a special needs teenager, and her younger sister with a better house, more succesful husband, plus she’s a doctor. I have a hard time buying that, does she even practice medicine? She seems to have a lot of time on her hands.

    During the conversation Walt and Jesse had, Jesse had to remind Walt that ” $5 million ain’t nothing”, and building up a meth business “isn’t something to be prould of”. So Walt managed to take the whole batch of methylamine and “hide” it somewhere. Seems a bit of a plot hole, how can he access it without letting on where it is? Plus Jesse was out, is he back in now? Just like that? Walt should have offered Mike double whatever the other guy was going to pay plus pick up the cost for “Mike’s guys”. Walt could have taken the $5 million and walked away, presumbably with no consequences. No one was going to come looking for him, he could run the car wash, let Skylar go, have a decent life, slowly funneling his money back into a legitimate business, and take a vacation once a year to the Grand Caymans to visit the same bank Mitt Romney uses, play a little golf. He could even have brought Jesse into a real business, eventually selling it to him. It’s going to end badly, we know that. How much collateral damage is there going to be? Skylar, the kids, Mike, Jesse? All of them?

    • Alistair Blake Arabella
      Alistair Blake Arabella August 22, 2012 at 11:27 am · Reply

      Did you want to slap Walter in the face for not taking the $5 mil like I did? I might’ve actually screamed “IDIOT!” at the TV – why on earth would he pass on that? I mean, okay, he wants more money – but really? As Jesse said, how much money does he need? $5 mil would set him and his kids up for life, maybe even his grandkids if he did what you suggested – funneling it into a real business and turning the car wash into something bigger than it is. Or possibly taking a small, unnoticeable amount passed off as car wash income and investing it?
      I thought his two “friends” that started Gray Matter with him, fucked around behind his back, then bought him out, were complete pieces of shit.
      I’m just utterly confused by Walt this season. It’s out of character, or maybe it’s removed from the character I want him to be. Jesse is becoming a man of honor and convictions, and I love that – Mike is a fantastic influence on him. Skyler is doing her best – what I didn’t like about her in this season wasn’t her fault, actually – I think the writers weren’t sure what to do with her, so they wasted the first 5 episodes having her hem and haw over her fears instead of being an adult and confronting Walter with her (very valid) concerns. She’s their mother, she has every right to demand safety for her children, and Walter is an idiot for not seeing her side of it. I hope that Anna Gunn gets the Emmy this year, because I doubt she’ll get nominated again this year after the material they’ve given her to work with.
      I have no idea what Marie does anymore other than nag Hank and steal shoes – I do recall occasionally seeing her in a lab coat though?
      I know it’s going to end badly, but I’m scared for who it’ll end badly for – I want Walter’s kids, Jesse, and Mike to come out of this safely – I’m worried that one or all of them are going to pay the price for Walter’s greed and selfishness.

  2. Mark in Omaha August 22, 2012 at 12:16 pm · Reply

    I gave up on Walt halfway through last season. Maybe his real downfall happened when he sold his batch to Fring for $1 million. He could have walked away right then and there. Instead he got pissy with Jesse for being high when the call came, told him it was HIS money. Then Jane got into the act and he let her die, then got lured into the Fring web with the high tech lab.

    We might never find out the real story about Walt, Gretchen, and Elliott. All we know is that Walt and Gretchen had some kind of falling out and she hooked up with Elliott then Walt took a pittance and left. Why not keep his stake in the company? Maybe his stupid blind pride has been a character flaw for a very long time.

    Jesse isn’t such a great guy, he’s got blood on his hands and Mike’s a killer.

    Who will it end badly for? Who WON”T it end badly for?

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