The Donnybrook Bottom 100: Songs Never to be Played Again

Written by  //  January 5, 2011  //  The Conservatory  //  71 Comments

Do not. Test. Us.

Donnybrook recently convened at our home base, Charlie Brown’s bar in Denver, and drunkenly came up with a list of songs that should never be played again. Some of these songs we actually love. Some of these songs, if they were people, we would burn to death in front of their families. What do they have in common? All have succumbed to the putrefaction of overplay.

From this point forward, the Donnybrook Writing Academy (in allegiance with Empty Reviews) decrees that none of these songs may be played anywhere, for any reason. By anyone.

In the weeks to come, we will be monitoring the web, broadcast media, and your private residences, to drive home the fact that this list is of the utmost gravity. Steep fines and bizarre, draconian punishments will ensue.

Are there other songs that belong on this list? You bet, and in time we will convene once again, get drunk, and tell you what the new list is. Until then, the answer is no.

The Donnybrook Bottom 100

“…Baby One More Time”
Britney Spears

“American Pie”
Don McLean

“Baba O’Riley”
The Who

“Bad to the Bone”
George Thorogood & The Destroyers

“Bawitdaba”
Kid Rock

“Been Caught Stealing”
Jane’s Addiction

“Black Hole Sun”
Soundgarden

“Black Velvet”
Alannah Myles

“Blister in the Sun”
The Violent Femmes

“Bohemian Rhapsody”
Queen

“Born in the U.S.A.”
Bruce Springsteen

“Born to be Wild”
Steppenwolf

“Boys of Summer”
Don Henley

“Brown Eyed Girl”
Van Morrison

“Butterfly”
Crazy Town

“Can I Get A…”
Jay-Z

“Celebration”
Kool and the Gang

“Closing Time”
Semisonic

“Crazy Train”
Ozzy Osbourne

“Creep”
Radiohead

“Don’t Stop Believin’”
Journey

“Don’t Speak”
No Doubt

“Don’t Worry Be Happy”
Bobby McFerrin

“Down”
311

“Enter Sandman”
Metallica

“Fade Into You”
Mazzy Star

“Feel Like Making Love”
Bad Company

“Fernando”
ABBA

“Fireflies”
Owl City

“Fortunate Son”
Creedence Clearwater Revival

“Freak on a Leash”
Korn

“Free Bird”
Lynard Skynard

“Friday I’m in Love”
The Cure

“Girls”
Beastie Boys

“God Bless the U.S.A.”
Lee Greenwood

“Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”
Green Day

“Good Times”
Chic

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”
Elmo and Patsy

“Higher”
Creed

“Hold My Hand”
Hootie and the Blowfish

“I Want to Hold Your Hand”
The Beatles

“How to Save a Life”
The Fray

“Can’t Help Falling In Love”
Elvis Presley

“Tubthumping”
Chumbawumba

“I Just Called to Say I Love You”
Stevie Wonder

“I Melt With You”
Modern English

“I Touch Myself”
The Divinyls

“I Want to Know What Love Is”
Foreigner

“If I Had $1,000,000″
Barenaked Ladies

“In the Air Tonight”
Phil Collins

“Ironic”
Alanis Morissette

“Jammin’”
Bob Marley

“Janie’s Got a Gun”
Aerosmith

“Jeremy”
Pearl Jam

“Jump Around”
House of Pain

“Lady”
Styx

“Light My Fire”
The Doors

“Lisztomania”
Phoenix

“Lithium”
Nirvana

“Livin’ on a Prayer”
Bon Jovi

“Loser”
Beck

“Love Rollercoaster”
The Ohio Players

“Love Story”
Taylor Swift

“You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’”
The Righteous Brothers

“Luka”
Suzanne Vega

“Magic Man”
Heart

“Margaritaville”
Jimmie Buffett

“Money”
Pink Floyd

“Mony Mony”
Billy Idol

“More Than A Feeling”
Boston

“My Humps”
Black Eyed Peas

“Nuthin’ But A ‘G’ Thang”
Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg

“Poker Face”
Lady Gaga

“Pour Some Sugar On Me”
Def Leppard

“Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)”
The Offspring

“Rooster”
Alice in Chains

“Run-Around”
Blues Traveler

“Santeria”
Sublime

“Speed of Sound”
Coldplay

“Stairway to Heaven”
Led Zeppelin

“Start Me Up”
The Rolling Stones

“Super Freak”
Rick James

“Kryptonite”
Three Doors Down

“Take It Easy”
The Eagles

“Take the Money and Run”
Steve Miller

“The Boys Are Back in Town”
Thin Lizzy

“The Gambler”
Kenny Rogers

“Thriller”
Michael Jackson

“Ants Marching”
Dave Matthews Band

“Walkin’ in Memphis”
Marc Cohn

“Waterfalls”
T.L.C.

“What a Wonderful World”
Louis Armstrong

“Whip It”
Devo

“Wicked Game”
Chris Isaak

“Yeah”
Usher

“YMCA”
The Village People

“You Shook Me All Night Long”
AC/DC

“Your Body is a Wonderland”
John Mayer

“Zombie”
Cranberries

Also forbidden:

• The Entire Curious George Soundtrack

• All country music released after Bobby Bare’s Drunk & Crazy (1980).

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

About the Author

The Donnybrook Writing Academy

The Donnybrook Writing Academy is the visual personification of absolute perfection.

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71 Comments on "The Donnybrook Bottom 100: Songs Never to be Played Again"

  1. Goose January 5, 2011 at 10:22 am · Reply

    I guess I’m gonna have to get in line for some punishment now. The Who, Boston, Journey, Thin Lizzy, Modern English and the Ohio Players? That’s how I gets down baby. Just let me know the time and place to show up for my requisite punishment and I’ll make sure that I’m not late. Cheers

  2. Professor Honeydew January 5, 2011 at 10:38 am · Reply

    Mazzy Star? Huh? Hope Sandoval is always welcome in my wing of the manor!

    Although if it means never having to hear the rest of that dreck again, it’s a sacrifice worth making.

    Good work, Donnybrook.

  3. Ivyy January 5, 2011 at 10:54 am · Reply

    Oh god, just reading the list brings horrible horrible flashbacks.

  4. Hiram OCicero-McKnoxt January 5, 2011 at 12:04 pm · Reply

    I had forgotten that Crazy Town ever existed. Thanks.

  5. Tansy January 5, 2011 at 12:15 pm · Reply

    Ha ha! The entire Curious George soundtrack – Donnybrook attempts to save the world from the evils of Jack Johnson once again.

    P.S. It was genius to include “Creep.”

  6. Cashmere Jefferson Lavabo January 5, 2011 at 12:22 pm · Reply

    I guess that means no more Rock Band at the manor. Such a peasant activity, anyway.

  7. Colonel Hector Bravado January 5, 2011 at 1:17 pm · Reply

    No more singing, either, unless it is a Donnybrook-approved aria.

  8. Rick Daddy January 5, 2011 at 2:00 pm · Reply

    I am fairly certain that “Watching the Detectives” is bubbling under at #101.

  9. John Moore January 5, 2011 at 2:26 pm · Reply

    We can’t be friends anymore. Not until you take the masturbation song off this list.

    (PS: But kudos for extricating Dave Matthews, John Mayer and Phil Collins from the planet).

    (PSS: I’d also suggest that a song doesn’t have to be old to belong on the “must never be played again” list. I offer Michael Franti’s “Say Hey,” David Gray’s “A Moment Changes Everything” and Katy Perry’s “California Girls” for your consideration).

  10. Ethereal JB January 5, 2011 at 3:03 pm · Reply

    In truth, as much time was spent thinking of songs we forgot to put on the list as was spent actually making the thing. The well of bad music will never run dry, so this list can (and probably will) grow with time.

  11. doesn't know song January 6, 2011 at 11:59 am · Reply

    What? “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” Elmo and Patsy? I mean I completely agree, it’s god damn awful, but I’ve never heard that track before. Otherwise it’s solid list of brutality.

  12. godonnybrook January 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm · Reply

    @doesn’t know song – it is the song that every radio station on earth plays every Christmas season, to be funny. It makes us sad inside.

  13. Professor Honeydew January 6, 2011 at 2:28 pm · Reply

    … not to mention how insensitive it is to people like me who have actually had their grandmothers run over by reindeer.

  14. Colonel Hector Bravado January 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm · Reply

    And to people whose grandmothers were whores. She was run over by the reindeer because she was out in the street. Whoring.

  15. Jeff January 6, 2011 at 4:59 pm · Reply

    You should consider getting more sleep.

  16. Colonel Hector Bravado January 6, 2011 at 7:02 pm · Reply

    I can’t. Every time I close my eyes, I hear “2 Legit 2 Quit.”

  17. Rob G January 6, 2011 at 10:53 pm · Reply

    Maybe “Tic Toc” could also be considered as a pick for the coveted “101 spot?

  18. Professor Honeydew January 7, 2011 at 12:23 am · Reply

    I was informed this evening that Donnybrook has received hate e-mail regarding this piece.

    I think I speak for everyone when I say I can’t wait until all of those messages are posted on the site with the senders’ email addresses and names intact.

  19. Lame January 7, 2011 at 1:02 am · Reply

    It’s Thin LIZZY, DONNYBROOK WRITING ACADEMY… and the fact that you’ve included “The Boys are Back in Town” proves that you are either too old, or too boring.

  20. browneheather January 7, 2011 at 9:10 am · Reply

    Remind me to tell you about the time I saw the guy who wrote “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” perform his masterpiece LIVE. At a holiday craft fair in Gold Country California. Such a special day, such a notable show. Sigh.

  21. Father Guido Sarducci IV January 7, 2011 at 10:46 am · Reply

    @Lame – Don’t you mean to say that we must be too young, or too exciting?

  22. cm January 7, 2011 at 2:57 pm · Reply

    CMON…Please Kill Hotel California…… i puke everytime…thanks

  23. Politik January 7, 2011 at 3:31 pm · Reply

    how is lizstomania already on there? you have some good ones, but i think you should just NOT listen to the radio because there are some good ones on there that are TOO GOOD to be sick of. just saying.

  24. Jason Thompson January 7, 2011 at 3:45 pm · Reply

    I might be pissing off everyone east of the Mississippi with this comment, but “Walking In Memphis” makes me want to vomit out all of my systems. Yep. Nervous, circulatory, digestive, respiratory, etc. Every time.

  25. A.v. Frankenstein January 7, 2011 at 5:53 pm · Reply

    It was my understanding the entire Nickelback collection was on the list before the list was even made.
    or
    Does their exclusion mean I can still jam Nickelback and Staind next time I’m getting my pump on at Xtreme Fitness.

  26. Nico January 7, 2011 at 8:17 pm · Reply

    What happened to Wonderwall?? That should be on top of the list!!

  27. Rob January 7, 2011 at 11:22 pm · Reply

    Yeah there are some that belong on the list, but so very many do not.
    And how in the hell do you not include Old Time Rock n’ Roll on this list??!!??

  28. Colonel Hector Bravado January 8, 2011 at 1:42 pm · Reply

    @Lame: Your are correct, it is “Lizzy.” It’s still banned.
    @cm: We just couldn’t ban every Eagles song that deserved it. Pretty much their whole discology should be on the list.
    @Politik: Maybe so.
    @Jason Thompson: While we were formulating the list, the mere mention of the song brought Robert Rutherford, retching, to his knees.
    @A.V. Frankenstein: Yup.
    @Nico: Arguably so.
    @Rob: We forgot old Bob Seger. He’ll get his sooner or later.

  29. Elliott January 8, 2011 at 5:09 pm · Reply

    Hey Bravado, remember when we made special hand signs for “2 Baked 2 Deal”? Ha ha. College. Ha.

    2 Baked
    2 Baked 2 Deal

  30. John Moore January 8, 2011 at 5:58 pm · Reply

    I said “masturbation.” … What the hell does it take to get you people’s attention?

  31. Luke D! January 9, 2011 at 7:59 pm · Reply

    Shut the fuck up!

  32. Meredith January 9, 2011 at 9:09 pm · Reply

    Baker Street, by Gerry Rafferty

  33. Nick January 10, 2011 at 8:13 am · Reply

    Replace Stairway with anything by Peter Frampton, and “Nothin But A G Thang” with “Ice Ice Baby”, and I’ll agree with this list 100%.

  34. Kid Cucaracha January 10, 2011 at 1:58 pm · Reply

    Why? Is radio relevant again?

  35. Guido Sarduucci IV January 10, 2011 at 4:39 pm · Reply

    @Kid Cucaracha – Radio is the perp that killed these songs but radio isn’t the only culprit who continues to beat these dead horses. Every wedding DJ, karaoke patron, and many, many jukeboxes, have all contributed to turning these mostly decent (some very good and some very shitty from the get-go) songs into instruments of Guantanamo-style torture devices.

  36. Crazy Bill January 10, 2011 at 6:33 pm · Reply

    You should consider that were this actually to be implemented, every team in the National Hockey League would have to jettison music playlists that have been scientifically designed over a period of thirty years to sell more beer, and go back to organ music in between plays.

    Blamp blamp blamp blamp
    Blamp blamp blamp blamp
    Doo-doo-doo-doot doo-doooooo!
    BLAAAAAAAAMP

    Actually that’s much better!

  37. Crazy Bill January 10, 2011 at 6:34 pm · Reply

    Plus we’d all be riding carnival rides in silence.

    “DO YOU WANNA GO FASTER?!”

    *crickets*

  38. Sybil Augustine January 10, 2011 at 6:42 pm · Reply

    Hope you didn’t work too hard at just putting together a list of the most overplayed pop & classic rock songs. I guess if it gets you some attention your work has been done.

    I do think you need to differentiate between “Nashville pop country” and REAL country music. It’s out there, it does exist, and it’s good. But you might not be aware of that because it has not been overplayed on the radio, in fact most “country” music stations won’t touch it. Noncommercial stations play real country that people are making all over the U.S. and it puts that pop stuff to shame, but I don’t think you should diss all country music because some of it sucks.

  39. The Reverend Rockefeller J. Ruffhauser January 10, 2011 at 7:49 pm · Reply

    this damn thing don’t werk…damn thing…

  40. The Reverend Rockefeller J. Ruffhauser January 10, 2011 at 7:51 pm · Reply

    and now it’s maid a lyre outta me…

  41. Nick January 10, 2011 at 8:42 pm · Reply

    Needs more Counting Crows- Mr. Jones

  42. FrStLtCaBoOsE January 10, 2011 at 11:46 pm · Reply

    Um yea if this list was only rap music and pop genre music I would support it but to many good hits on there that should be played fail list. Do it again but actually try this time

  43. Colonel Hector Bravado January 11, 2011 at 8:41 am · Reply

    @Elliott: Haaaaa. The Pod.
    @John Moore: Sorry to lose you in this wild, unruly thread. You did indeed reference masturbation, and should be recognized accordingly. Fap on, brother.
    @Luke D!: YOU shut the fuck up. *adjusts cravat, clears throat* Burrrn.
    @Meredith: I’d look this up, but I’m afraid I’d get it stuck in my head.
    @Nick: Certainly worth consideration. I’ll put it before the council the next time I have enough brandy and figs to lure them over.
    @WildBill: Hockey DJs can start playing early Exploited and Charged GBH. Carnival rides can employ more hot big band and drum & bass.
    @SybilAugustine: Sometimes you have to kill the patient to stop the cancer. Besides, as long as we can still play “Hello Walls” by Faron Young, who really cares?
    @Reverend: Do get back in touch when the Clopixal wears off and the nice lady lets you have computer time again.
    @Nick: Yup.
    @FrSTNickCABootHenRYlodGE: As I read your comment, I picture you at your computer wearing a hat with ear flaps, and every time you hit “Submit,” I hear a squeaky dog toy sound.

  44. John Wenzel January 13, 2011 at 3:10 pm · Reply

    I would pay to see “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” live. Not much, but still.

  45. static January 13, 2011 at 3:15 pm · Reply

    If it means sacrificing the most overplayed songs of IMO, favorite artists (i.e. Radiohead, Mazzy Star, Cranberries, Louis Armstrong, Suzanne Vega, etc.), then so be it. I agree Sybil on most country stations play only what some place as pop/modern country, and rarely traditional country, alt-country, americana, country & western, etc.

  46. Elliott January 14, 2011 at 12:52 pm · Reply

    I don’t like where this is heading, country music fans. If anyone gets out a dobro, they are going home in a shower of wood chips.

  47. Elliott January 14, 2011 at 1:02 pm · Reply

    I was listening to Classic-Hits-type radio last night and they played “Sweet Home Alabama” directly before “Everyday is like Sunday” by Morrissey. First, you could probably get killed by Smiths fans and Skynrd fans for that. Second, your modern radio listener must be culturally unmoored. Third, only a computer would come up with that playlist. Maybe the dobro is a better idea than computer radio.

  48. The Reverend Rockefeller J. Ruffhauser January 14, 2011 at 1:59 pm · Reply

    Country music’s cool…I wish they were still makin’ it.
    Though it’ll never replace sideshow hokum.
    Or psychedelics.

  49. ghgh January 15, 2011 at 5:07 am · Reply

    you guys are rich idiots who need to leave rock music alone and just go drink some tea. Rock music was never made to be polished and mainstream friendly, it was made to blow you’re ears out and make you feel like you are at the best party of you’re life with you’re hot gf. It’s about living for today.

  50. ghgh January 15, 2011 at 5:09 am · Reply

    here’s another idea, how about we let all of these songs play all day long and have rap taken off entirely? yeah, that sounds perfect.

  51. Anonymous January 15, 2011 at 3:08 pm · Reply

    Who’s idea was this?! Stupid posh fuckers you can suck my cock these songs are awesome!

  52. John Moore January 15, 2011 at 5:02 pm · Reply

    The last three times I’ve happened across KBCO, they’ve been playing 10-year old Counting Crows. I’m traumatized.

  53. Father Guido Sarducci IV January 15, 2011 at 6:54 pm · Reply

    @ghgh: Uhhh…what?

    “Rock music was never made to be polished and mainstream friendly”

    What are you even referring to? Where did we say that we wanted anything to be polished and mainstream? In a way, we are saying something completely opposite of that. See, there are many really great songs in the world that will “blow you’re ears out and make you feel like you are at the best party of you’re life,” or, whatever, but for some reason, most of the gatekeepers of music will only play these same songs over and over. Many of the songs on this list are very arguably good songs, but their brilliance has been wrung dry. The artists on this list have deep catalogues of brilliant songs that are never played. Do you really ever have to hear “Jammin’” again, or can’t you just sing the lyrics from memory?

    And those people who have suggested to “get an ipod” and stop listening to the radio, are also missing the point. That sounds a lot like turning your cheek and ignoring the problem. Music is a profession and Elvis Presley doesn’t need any more royalties. There are musicians that could be getting that spot on the radio.

  54. godonnybrook January 17, 2011 at 1:50 pm · Reply

    Ghgh, thanks. This is just…possibly the funniest (and least relevant) comment we’ve had on our site. Normally the barely-literate are weeded out by our long url (except for the Palin post, that was also funny), but luckily ¡ULTIMATE GUITARZ! is sending y’all over, and we thank them for that.

  55. Courtney January 18, 2011 at 12:18 pm · Reply

    Where is Achy Breaky Heart on this list??

  56. Evie January 18, 2011 at 12:37 pm · Reply

    That list is perfect just the way it is – although most of the songs will now be stuck in my head for quite some time! I love most of the songs on it but have to agree that they are over played.

  57. Tam January 18, 2011 at 4:34 pm · Reply

    I woke up this morning, a brown eyed girl who was born in the USA, feeling a little down. I heard the folks over at Donnybrook said good riddance to 100 songs I, and many other girls a lady and a loser all happen to get more than a feeling from. It’s not that I want to call them creep or suggest they have a black hole sun for a heart. That’s not it at all. I mean, come on people, can I get a baby one more time from all you on board the crazy train. Don’t stop believin’ people!

    Once upon a time there were people who said don’t speak, listen, hold my hand, jump on the love rollercoaster, and quit bustin’ my humps! Don’t give in, don’t be a zombie. What a wonderful world this could be if people just got over the wicked game of radio censorship, put on their poker face, and like the speed of sound, like lithium, let that sound wash over them. It’s magic man. Or could be.

    What’s with the haters? Don’t they know a love story when they see one or have they lost that lovin’ feelin’? I think Jeremy or Janie’s got a gun and they are out for a super freak on a leash named Fernando, the fortunate son he is, who only wants to experience the feeling of how to save a life through the beauty of jammin’ in Margaritaville to some classic tunes.

    Can you hear me people? Or is the tubthumping too loud for you Luka? Am I livin’ on a prayer? Am I just a jump around pretty fly gettin’ the run-around? This censorship, this banning of the music that knows how to start me up, taking me on a stairway to heaven, it’s wrong. Am I getting too baba o’riley? Do I need to chug a little black velvet, cry like a free bird, pour some sugar on me, and take it easy? Maybe I need to take a moment and when I touch myself with a Kleenex to the eye, I should feel it in the air tonight… the feeling of fireflies, but maybe not… maybe it’s enter sandman, stage left.

    I don’t want it to be so. God bless the USA, I want the good times. I want there to be a higher calling. If I had 1,000,000 for every time someone said I want to hold your hand, I want to know what love is, and I can’t help falling in love with these tunes man, I would be rich!

    I feel like I’m making a Lisztomania here. Completely freaked out by the thought of losing the don’t worry be happy feeling of listening to some great tunes because a group of peeps at Donnybrook randomly decided, in a drunken stupor, that these sounds don’t make them feel like making love anymore. It’s like getting rid of American pie filled with apples. It’s like watching grandma who got run over by a reindeer. It’s theft, that’s what it is… they’ve been caught stealing. They are a bunch o’ bad to the bone peeps who might just blister in the sun if they keep going on like this. Robbing the tunes from the people who still want them.

    I know this diatribe is turning into a bohemian rhapsody. It’s just that the boys of summer and I, who were born to be wild, want to say that if this heresy doesn’t stop it will fade into you and the longer it lasts the more you will lose that Friday I’m in love feeling. This is no celebration. This is no butterfly taking wing and whispering bawitdaba. This is a time to stand up, a time to light my fire and yours. This is a time to give up Santeria, crow like a rooster, whip it into shape, and take back our airwaves.

    I want to say to these drunkards, though the thought of this does make for a good thriller, that the ants are marching now one by one, the boys are back in town, and we are going to take the money money and run yelling mony mony. There is no kryptonite that can stop us cuz this is nuthin’ but a G thang gangstas. I know without a doubt that when Stevie says I just called to say I love you, you, wastoids, will say I melt with you Stevie, and you won’t be able to stay at the YMCA, or look at waterfalls, or go walkin’ in Memphis again without wanting to listen to one of these songs.

    It’s closing time on this missive, but I want you to know, you lit up fools, that you shook me all night long with this idea, but I know I wouldn’t be the gambler in saying that most of your body is a wonderland, your body of work that is, and I do appreciate it. After all of this, isn’t that thought just a little bit ironic… yeah?

  58. John Wenzel January 18, 2011 at 4:38 pm · Reply

    Now that was truly epic.

  59. Make It Stop January 18, 2011 at 6:41 pm · Reply

    Here’s some more: The Beatles- Hey Jude, Disturbed- Get Down With The Sickness, Cream- White Room, Gn’R- Sweet Child O Mine, Lynyrd Skynyrd- Gimmee Three Steps, Queen- We Are The Champions, BTO- Taking Care Of Business, Yes- Roundabout, Jethro Tull- Locomotive Breath, Bob Seger- Old Time Rock n’ Roll, Nickelback’s full catalog, Metallica- Nothing Else Matters, Nelly- Hot In Here, ZZ Top- Gimme All Your Lovin’, Legs, Sharp Dressed Man, The list goes on and on. God bless the lazy programmers and all the sheeple. Ok, sheeple should be retired as a word too.

  60. Gag Me!!! January 18, 2011 at 10:07 pm · Reply

    Please add the following:
    1. Bob Carlisle “Butterfly Kisses”, 2. Len “Steal My Sunshine”, 3. Dee Lite “Groove is in the Heart” All very worthy choices of the don’t play ever list!

  61. Dave January 28, 2011 at 10:30 am · Reply

    Are you shittin me? No one even suggested that ” Freebird” should be on this list? OK, maybe next year.

  62. Father Guido Sarducci IV January 28, 2011 at 12:26 pm · Reply

    What’s funny is, I think “Freebird” goes without saying.

  63. everyweddingdj January 28, 2011 at 3:57 pm · Reply

    There’s a reason there called ‘crowd pleasers’. You don’t like’em, don’t listen! Now go eat your Tofu Bean Burger.

  64. Father Guido Sarducci IV January 28, 2011 at 5:33 pm · Reply

    Tofu Bean Burger? Is anyone eating a Tofu Bean Burger in here? Well, maybe Angora. Hey Angora! Enjoy that stupid Tofu Bean Burger! And, uh… well, I don’t know. What was everyweddingdj trying to say?

  65. Angora Holly Polo January 30, 2011 at 4:01 pm · Reply

    The go-to insult for middle aged guitar dudes and wedding DJs is not really an insult, but just a command to go eat or drink something (which may or may not exist). Go drink some tea! What? Well, okay, I actually really like tea. Go eat a tofu bean burger! Hmmm. Hmmmmm. This statement disconcerts me.

    What is a tofu bean burger? I am admittedly new to vegetarianism; I’ve only had veggie burgers. Is this tofu bean burger a more healthful option I should be aware of? Is it a sect of veggie burger, just as some are made out of chick peas? Are all veggie burgers created equal? Is this man looking out for my well-being recommending such health food, or Is this a just cloaked attempt to call us hippies? Of that I am not certain, but it’s my closest guess. But I thought most of the people who are angry about this list are aging hippies. Who are the hippies and who are the non-hippies now? What exact moment do tofu bean burgers enter into this confusing world? Am I a hippie? Do I have to be angry about this list now too? But I helped write the list! Exactly when and how did this happen? Does any of this matter?

    Frankly, I’m having an existentialist meltdown. I give up, I’m going to go force my manservants to roll around in a swimming pool filled with tofu bean burgers.

  66. Father Guido Sarducci IV January 31, 2011 at 12:17 pm · Reply

    Some even just command that you “bite me”

  67. Nigel Hawthorne Creamispy III September 28, 2011 at 4:24 pm · Reply

    Hah! Great list! I had to agree with most of it. What I didn’t agree with, I had never heard of. I get that some of these songs you loved. (Me too actually) But do I ever have to hear Misty Mountain Hop? No, most likely not. Might I suggest “She Blinded Me With Science” by There’s No Fucking Way You Don’t Know Who This Song Was By?

  68. Jason Deas June 23, 2012 at 8:03 am · Reply

    Ok. I can do this as long as I can hear The Gambler, one more time.

  69. Elliott November 19, 2013 at 4:46 pm · Reply

    Where the fuck is Bravado?

    Sing it: Where in the fuck is Colonel Bravado?

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