Putting Out Fires
Pic#1: Japan Drier
Does Japan know that this stuff exists? Somebody should send them a forty gallon drum of this stuff.
Too bad they don’t also make “Japan Reactor Coolant.”
Price: Somebody please just let them know that this stuff exists!!
Pic#2: Irish Bear
Bears don’t exist in Ireland anymore. They were hunted to extinction just like leprechauns and sober people.
Have you ever seen a drunk bear? I imagine they could drink an entire keg of beer and just mercilessly destroy a preschool or a church. I want to see someone kiss a drunk bear.
Price: $2 a fair price actually, but you officially become really dumb if you buy it.
Pic#3: Firemen Clock
Notice that one of the firemen is trapped under a flaming clock, burning alive while his buddies fight the fire. A cruel reminder of how firemen can die. WHY WOULD SOMEBODY BUY THIS?
Price: $10, a steal if you collect brutal depictions of people burning alive.
Pic#4: Kenny Rogers
Kenny is just funny, but that this record is also used to test the quality of things is hilarious.
Look at that beard! He probably was so jacked off meth that he cranked that record out in 30 minutes.
Price: Clearly not for sale. It’s used to test things that are creepy.
Pic#5: Kid With Fire Hose
That’s exactly what my face looks like when I do that.
That poor dog is about to get a firehose bukkake.