The Problem of Leisure…

Written by  //  December 20, 2007  //  The Conservatory, The Problem of Leisure  //  11 Comments

…What to do for pleasure?

And by the way, what the fuck were you thinking, Tila Tequila?

Choosing Whats-His-Haircut over the adorable, lovable Dani? Dani has dimples. I almost left Father Guido for her, five times. I mean, take the sweetest girl with boyish charm, and roll her up in layers of humility and heroism (she’s a firefighter) and puppies and bunnies…How could you not go for that? I am completely gay for Dani. Tila, you cried from happiness on dates with Dani. You gave Dani’s grandmother a lap dance, for god’s sake! Doesn’t that mean anything to you? You floozy!

Moving on!

Here’s what our Donnybrookites got goin on this weekend. We’ve got a short list due to the holidays, or our belligerent protests of the holidays, or a combination of both. We’re brief, but we mean business. So, what are you doing, Father Guido?

Father Guido:

Hangin’ with the highly distinguished ‘rents. Taking the whole Sarducci family to the Bluebird for the Hot IQs/Cat-a-Tac Christmas show Saturday. Maybe catching a flick at the new Cinema Flix Cafe Sunday night.

Editor’s note: Donnybrookites normally don’t approve of the term “‘rents,” or contractions in general, but we’ll let this one slide due to the Father’s excellent Snobcasts lately.

The Bartender (who’s BACK!!!):

Larimer Lounge Xmas party is tonight FREE and free drinks if you’re special with
Machine Gun Blues, Sleeperhorse, DJ Michael Trundle and Magic Cyclops. Let’s deck the halls with passed-out drunks. Falalala lalalala.

Madden Madrid McClintock:

friday night: flobots at the falcon.
saturday night: kingdom of fucking magic at the hi-dizzle.

Editor’s note: The Editor can’t be bothered this week to do things like “capitalize.”

Col. Hector Bravado:

Of all the Colonel’s vices, cigarettes seem to be the most deadly and pervasive. And I just realized it’s been a long time, 14 years, since I bought my first pack of Marlboro Light 100s while on break from a busboy shift at the now-defunct Normandy on Colfax. 14 years. All of a sudden the days of oxygen tanks or having your throat cut out don’t seem like such wildly distant possibilities. This Sunday, I’ll be heading to my first Nicotine Anonymous meeting at Our Savior Lutheran Church on 9th Ave. Keep me in your prayers.

Editor’s note: Donnybrookites only pray to porcelain gods.

And this is the place to be on Christmas Eve…

What better way to spend Christmas Eve than with Heeb Magazine? HEEBONISM Denver takes place at The Loft Denver on Christmas Eve, featuring a live performance by New York City’s own Team Facelift. Blending deep-house and glam rock, the trio of Fat Jew, Karim Fonda (a.k.a. Alden Pact) and Machine was recently named MTV’s Artist of the Week and are set to explode in 2008. Team Facelift lists their moms, cocaine and Hasidic Jews among their influences and vow “to do to rap what Elton John did to being gay.” (opening act, DJ Klaw).


Date: Monday, December 24

Time: 8:00 p.m. to 1:30 a.m.

Location: The Loft Denver, 821 22nd Street, Denver

Tickets: $25 in advance at, $36 at the door

Wellll, that’s about it. I’m going to go cry on my Dani bedsheets, and maybe gaze at my Dani posters.



About the Author

Angora Holly Polo

Angora Holly Polo is the Czar of Donnybrook Manor, moderator of leisure, purveyor of intrigue. You may email her offerings of gold at

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11 Comments on "The Problem of Leisure…"

  1. Bang Tango'ed December 21, 2007 at 8:07 am · Reply

    I’ll be in smalltown Ohio. Pray to your porcelain idols for my safe return. Bring on the high school reunionesque tail and happy holidays.

  2. Cap'n Colleen December 21, 2007 at 10:49 am · Reply


    Thanks for publicizing the Tila-dumps-Dani travesty. I mean seriously. Who passes up a girl like Dani?

    Oh well. Tila annoyed me anyway. Dani can do better.

  3. Bang Tango'ed December 21, 2007 at 11:49 am · Reply

    I couldn’t even watch that show. I was leery of the fact that Tila is obviously an alien from a reptilian planet. That combined with her finger nails on chalk board voice and her black hole sun smile was enough to keep me not watching in way that is normally reserved for the george lopez show and female comedians.

    • Angora December 21, 2007 at 3:24 pm · Reply

      I know, Tila was the worst part about the show. We should suggest they replace her; next season, unleash a bunch of gay men and straight girls upon…Perez Hilton? Kato Kalin? Prince? I dunno how Kato made it into that list.

  4. Col. Hector Bravado December 21, 2007 at 3:59 pm · Reply

    I would watch these shows non-stop if I were assured that each and every participant would be sterilized at season’s end.

  5. Bang Tango'ed December 22, 2007 at 7:35 am · Reply

    It’s about time these reality whores had some sort of consequence. Sterilization for all reality show losers in ’08.

  6. Col. Hector Bravado December 22, 2007 at 12:34 pm · Reply

    You could probably make a pretty good run at the presidency with that one-plank platform: “Bang Tango’ed will sterilize all reality show losers in ’08. And probably take care of the security thingy and that deal with the schools too. But definitely, sterilizations. I’m Bang Tango’ed and I approved this message when I was drunk.”

  7. Bang Tango'ed December 23, 2007 at 4:58 pm · Reply

    Plus you’d get a t-shirt that says, “I was Bang Tango’ed in ’08″. Black t-shirt with hot pink letters.

  8. Angora December 24, 2007 at 8:26 am · Reply

    Uhhh, I dunno. I think if Dani ran against you you’d have trouble. Plus, I like the idea of a t-shirt that says “I’m Totally Gay for Dani.”

  9. Bang Tango'ed December 24, 2007 at 2:46 pm · Reply

    Anything you can save as an image can be made into a t-shirt at your local Walgreens. Dani needs a grass roots movement to support her run for presidency. I’d rather have Dani than that other pant suit wearing lesbian. As long as we’re going to have a lesbian president anyways.

  10. Col. Hector Bravado December 26, 2007 at 5:02 pm · Reply

    Dani can go to hell in ’08.

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