Twelve Things That Happened at the Westword Music Showcase
In a moment of cutting journalistic integrity, Angora Holly Polo suddenly spewed forth factual information from said music fest so as to enlighten the general truthiness of the universe. Here are twelve things, prioritized by coolness, which probably happened at the Westword Music Festival this last Saturday:
12.) Ethan, lead singer of Gangcharger, kept getting electrocuted in the mouth during his set at Sutra. Somehow the mic kept sneakily sending jolts of electricity into his face while he continued to rock in legendary fashion, without Angora Holly Polo’s even observing the shocking parts – perhaps it enlivened their sound, even. He explained it to Angora afterwards, claiming it was probably the worst show he’s ever played for that reason. What a pussy!
11.) While smoking the doobies in a parking lot, Timmy T for a second forgot they were doing illegal drugs and politely informed a car that there was a free parking spot in front of him—a parking spot where Father Guido was currently sitting cross-legged and doing illegal drugs. When the car arrived Timmy shouted “Nevermind! Nevermind!” and waved his hands to distract from the drug-doing. Crisis averted.
10.) The group attempted to watch Built to Spill, then said “meh” and went home. It’s really not like we’re criticizing Built to Spill; it’s just that pizza, bourbon, and sitting in fuzzy pajamas starred in our impending destinies; plus the joint was just so rife with commoners.
9.) Indie 101.5’s Lynne Ryan toweled Angora Holly Polo off in the ladies’ room after she had gotten soaked in the rain. All sexiness aside, it was a very saintly move since there were no paper towels left and Lynne had to use her own hat.
8.) Donnybrook and Fuel/Friends yelled “I want to have all of your babies” at the musical band Astrophagus while they made blissful Radioheadesque bleeps and hums, lush acoustic guitars, and trumpet sounds emit from their instruments and mouth-holes.
7.) Donnybrook bared witness to the miracle birth of a possibly Jesus-like sponge rhino. For brunch, representatives from Fuel/Friends, Donnybrook, and Blue Million Miles/Houses descended upon the Sputnik for the bottomless mimosas and the great conversation. Upon entrance, such representatives were treated to a most monumental experience of witnessing the birth of one sponge rhinoceros that grew out of a special pill, clumsily at first and then strong, proud, and later stuck to the wall next to the drink specials.
6.) Houses played their robust version of ‘70s a.m. rock to an enraptured crowd at Curious Theatre. The only thing missing from the set was that Mike Marchant was in Vegas. These guys are so much fun, I daresay they share more than a member of the sadly defunct Hearts of Palm.
5.) In an attempt to blend in with the locals, Father Guido Sarducci IV joined a “hacky-sack circle”
4.) The smallest crowd-surf in the world occurred at a METAL show at Broadway’s. No venue encapsulates the raging commingling of dudeliness like a place with rainbows all over its face. In these walls, a very METAL moment of mindblowing magnitude occurred. Enemy Reign was on the stage. Somehow an inspired METAL-enjoyer heaved himself up onto the outstretched hands of, oh, three people, and instead of handing him over in wave-like fashion, they just sort of walked around with him splayed on top and screaming (in a very METAL manner). Then he came plummeting towards Donnybrook, Fuel/Friends, and Gigbot; and Donnybrook happened to be text messaging and might have attempted to hold him with one limp aristocratic wrist before he ultimately divebombed the ground. FAILURE AT BEING METAL.
Later in the evening, someone wearing an Enemy Reign t-shirt was spotted meandering through a back alley in such a drugged stupor, his vocabulary no longer contained any words.
3.) Speaking of METAL, Fuel/Friends took a legendary photo of the band Tauntaun.
2.) Everything happened at Bar Standard. If mad sweaty drunk throngs of people are any indication, Bar Standard was the place to be. The Knew proved their buzzworthy status yet again by playing an amazing set to a ridiculously packed room, and they did it in straight style. If GQ ever allows longhairs in their magazine, I think the Knew—mostly blond, devilishly handsome, and Ray Banned on this afternoon–should get a spread.
Angora also talked with Eric from the Swayback about recording their new album with the legendary Andy Johns, and then he called Donnybrook “sexy in a booshie way.” Then Everything Absent or Distorted brought their usual celebratory eight-man-clusterfuck to the tiny stage, changing lives one urgent note at a time. Mothers and wives and friends and friends in bands and complete strangers danced backstage.
1.) the Fluid played to a screaming wet crowd in the soaking rain. With the power and talent of the band combined with the excitement of splashing in gigantic droplets of rain, plus the absence of our less hardcore friends, this made seeing the Fluid The Epitomal Moment of the entire festival experience. Dreams were achieved and then washed away. Umbrellas were shared in unity and brotherhood (thanks, Rose!). The Overcasters were present, making it fitting to the weather and those on the stage (they recently toured with the Fluid in New York). Timmy T did a sensual water-dance in the rain. And to top it all off, lead singer John Robinson was wearing all white, adding a Girls Gone Wild sexuality to his already-present Mick Jagger animal magnetism. All was right or at least wet with the world, as we jumped up and down, until Jeebus opened up his wide angry face and released pellets of melon-shaped hail* upon us and we were sent reeling into the melee like drowned rats in a sewer, excited and confused at once to be alive.
*That would be melon-shaped, not melon-sized. It’s all about spin.