The Taste of Lowered Expectations: Lecture Three in a Three Part Series

Having covered both the comedy and sound of lowered expectations, it is time to now focus on something much more immediate and primordial: hunger.

Elitist hipsters love Taco Bell. Vehemently denied as it may be, the truth is neither mutable nor pleasant; deep in their heart of hearts, hipsters know their truest feelings.

Conduct an informal poll of those dearest to you, those for whom mendacity need not intervene. With Pallas Athena stridently in their corner, they will admit (in blushing hues) of their desire to run for the border. Mayhaps the demon strikes them exclusively in the waning moments of an extended evening in the company of friends, possessed by an unrelenting fervor to consume a so-called ‘fourth meal’ of zesty nachos and cinnamon twists.

Or by peradventure they may have been taken in by those saucy condiment packets and their cryptic communiqués: the confessional (“The sporks pick on me at night”), the incisive (“How many of these do you already have in your glove compartment?”), and the absurd (“My other taco is a chalupa”).

Wherein lies the intangible splendor that makes one and all fall prey to Bell’s mellifluous tolling? Is this inquiry one sustainable by scientific reason, one that may be probed through the lens of objectivity? My fellows, I assure you that not only is such the case, but that we are already beating a path to the answer’s most welcoming door. Indeed, the perverted logic at play here is the same twisted force which impels us toward the latest Pirates of the Caribbean film or the quivering coos of a Devendra Banhart. ‘Tis the attraction of lowered expectations, no doubt, weaving its tapestry of strange, dark magic.