Vengeful Videorama

Written by  //  December 6, 2007  //  Cinematical, The Conservatory  //  1 Comment

Today, Lady Z goes through Amy Winehouse, Mary J Blige, and back to the ’80s!


Amy Winehouse, "Back to Black"- Lovely tattooed Amy Whinehouse (note-misspelling is intentional, for all you wanna-be editors out there) is at it again.  She’s really on a mission to be Elvira.  Not bad at all though.  I actually like this video, because its dark, and its refreshing not to see her look into the camera and try and convince us that she’s a lovely little songbird like that Vanessa Carlton chick.  She might as well be the Edith Piaf of our generation.  I wonder if she’s as bad tempered as the original "little sparrow."  Anyhow, the video shows us the funeral for her dead heart, which she buries in a formal ceremony at the end.  I enjoyed the mix of modern day influence in the retro style of the set, and I like how her music uses so many original techniques.  Major key changes and unexpected melodies are uncommon in music, and this puts her up above most of what we hear today, and it is 2007, so it’s nice when music these days reflects that and actually sounds new.

Mary J. Blige, "Just Fine"- She’s gotta tell the world that her life is just fine.  I get it, she’s Mary.  The one and only MJB.  She did "Real Love."  Done.  Famouse FOR EVER.  After her success, she better be just fine.  So if she’s just fine, then why does this video somehow remind me so much of Madonna’s videos?  Hmmm… So, she also wants to tell us that she likes what she sees when she walks past a mirror.  She needs to re-examine some of the clothes she’s wearing.  Like the sketchy red number.  I think that one should stay in the trechers of her pre-nineties closet.  And the black outfit… what is she auditioning for Amy’s video?  Trying to boost the mood at the funeral?  Anyway, she’s Mary, like I said before, so she’s not complaining.  I am suprised that she’s not complaining about her ears falling off from her ginormous hoop earrings.  They probably send her into perpetual dance mode by swinging her whole body in all directions.

And with a HUGE HONORABLE MENTION to VH1′s Soulphrodisiac show for playing the "Whole New World" Vocalist Regina Belle’s "Show Me the Way" video– heres what I have to say:

-To the hairdresser

-To 1982

-To shoulderpad-liposuction (the next episode of NipTuck, I’m sure)

-To my worst nightmares

-To something that’s funnier than Com Central’s Last Laugh ’07

And, oh man, you gotta wonder what rock she’s hiding under these days.  Wherever it is, she probably shares it with Osama.  I can’t decide whether she looks more like a linebacker, or an anorexic bride of Frankenstein.  Either way, I’m laughing too hard to care.  Open up your doors, she sings and I think yeah, the doors to the salon!  And then she sings, Don’t let me walk alone, and I think, not in public like this!  Yeah, I know it was the style of the time, but I haven’t fallen off my couch laughing since I started watching music videos when I was 4 years old, but this one did the trick.   Fuck Yeah Soulphrodisiac!  Cheapest therapy in town… that is if you can afford cable. 

About the Author

Lady Zuzanna is the author of Vengeful Videorama, as well as an African safari guide and music video B-girl from London.

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One Comment on "Vengeful Videorama"

  1. Father Guido December 6, 2007 at 1:18 pm · Reply

    Ya know, I didn’t want to believe the hype earlier this year when Winehouse was getting big, but she is dope. I don’t care what anyone says. Unfortunately, she’s a fucking wreck. She could use some advice from Mary J. MJB has been there and now she’s “Just Fine”

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