Vengeful Videorama

Written by  //  February 7, 2008  //  Cinematical, The Conservatory  //  3 Comments

 [kml_flashembed movie="" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]Colbie Caillat-Realize- She realizes quite a lot of stuff during the time alotted to her little song here, but what she doesn’t realize is that her name- Colbie- needs to change.  Its not hip or original- its fucking cheese!  You go and get yourself a chance to change your name, identity, whole fucking persona by becoming a musician and you don’t change your moldy, pitiful name?  Silly girl!  She’s a heck of a lot better than Miss Pfucking Psycho below, but not rad enough to make a lasting impression, or a long VV review…  [kml_flashembed movie="" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]Ashley Simpson-Outta My Head (Ay ya ya)- The bitch is back to black smugly eyeliner… So one of her personalities is chillin’ out on a rubix cube- whats the symbolism in that?  Maybe that she can’t figure herself out.  It didn’t take long for me to mute this one, and she looks more and more anorexic every time I see her.  No, she gets worse on every fucking level everytime I see her.  She’s in a downward spiral of crap, reaching exponential echelons of excremental expression each and every day.  The sum total of a milk-toast record executive’s teenage fantasy.  I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes, not for the world.  She’s fucking bonkers, and in the worst way.  It’s almost like she’s trying to make this eighties-pop sounding track with a Peter Gabriel-ish video– but she fails miserably, as I would expect.  This is the lamest shit I’ve heard in a long time.  Come back, Jessica!  Come save your seester!  Where the ef is her hot sis anyway?  She needs to help li’l Simpson out, but she’s probably stuck somewhere in TX, still wondering why Chicken of the Sea is fish. [kml_flashembed movie="" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]Honorable Mention for Brazilian Girls-Live in NYC performing Jique, because they’re fucking bonkers in the best fucking way, and also, we all want to know what it’s like to be at one of their shows…cuz people get neked- well, sort of.   

About the Author

Lady Zuzanna is the author of Vengeful Videorama, as well as an African safari guide and music video B-girl from London.

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3 Comments on "Vengeful Videorama"

  1. Team Donnybrook
    godonnybrook February 7, 2008 at 12:46 pm · Reply

    oh god. not that you expect much from Ashley Simpson, but that is awful. the singing sounds off like they couldn’t come up with a song so they just recorded her mumbling to her dog or something.

  2. Bang Tango'ed February 7, 2008 at 2:30 pm · Reply

    Someone mumbling to their uninterested dog is a hilarious mental cartoon.

  3. They Call Me Juice March 21, 2008 at 3:26 pm · Reply

    Perhaps Ashley Simpson’s song expresses her discontent of the media’s portrayal of her. Parts of the video show her running from a person with an over-sized camera as a head. In the end she can’t escape the harassment as a room full of photographers push her up against a wall. This shows how much this can make a person “climb up the walls” and, in a not so little way, drive a person crazy. Ashley is seen sitting in therapy at the beginning of the song, but it seems people’s unconcern for her (the shrink is asleep), and the fact that the song ends with her in the loony bin, is a sign that she’s given up in despair.

    I like the “Ay ya ya” verse the best.

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