Visions of Tires Burning and Baby Jesus in a Gas Mask…

Written by  //  November 23, 2008  //  Society, The Dormitory  //  1 Comment


With the holidays approaching I thought it appropriate to share a vision of Christmas, not the Dickensian Christmas future bullshit. Tiny Tim doesn’t get to fuck old Scrooge here. That’s just wishful thinking, but I suppose my vision has that sour barf smell of hope to it as well. Fuck it anyway. Christmas is control. Here’s my vision…

There are shopping carts filled with rocks and molotov cocktails, a bleached-white smoke of burning tires mixed with tear gas rolls through the streets. The blessed Virgin, head bowed, wrapped in razor wire, cradles baby Jesus who is naked except for a little baby gas mask. She’s far from immaculate – in fact she’s filthy with soot and appears underfed and pregnant.

Through the searing gas the enemy appears…

He sits ominously in his sleigh – except his sleigh is an armored hummer and he’s wearing not his normal jolly garb but riot gear. Elves march in formation, beating their batons on their shields, flanking the fat man whose eyes glow red hot behind the goggles of his gas mask.

Lines of ragged people with improvised masks and goggles gather at the sides of the Virgin who is cradling baby Jesus in one hand and a flaming molotov cocktail in the other.

In booming voice she yells toward the enemy, “Bring it on motherfuckers!!”

The vision ends there.

Keep drinking and tipping,

The Bartender

About the Author

The Bartender

The Bartender is a Zorro-style warrior of peace and penman of Bartender Blogs.

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One Comment on "Visions of Tires Burning and Baby Jesus in a Gas Mask…"

  1. julio December 29, 2008 at 11:15 am · Reply

    that is so weird …. my friend was in talks of making an anti-christmas movie… in the movie the elves revolt and take over christmas, killing santa in the process….

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