Have YOU been Pippa-ed?
“IT’S WEDDING SEASON!” –Vince Vaughn, Wedding Crashers
Everything wedding is in the air, so let’s all take a big whiff of it. It seems like everyone is getting engaged, having a new kid, or some other kind of bullshit. You see it on your Facebook news feed every day! Some are getting married after t dating for just the blink of an eye, which will undoubtedly result in a marriage that lasts as long as Kim Kardashian’s. But that’s not my point here, dears. The point is fashion. Wedding fashion.
My best friend Mandy (also known as Pudge though not in the least big pudgy) walked her sexy ass down the aisle one month ago wearing a stunning lace strapless gown. Other brides en route to the altar take a less conventional approach to their big day. So if you want to wear a pink dress like Gwen Stefani did when she became Mrs. Gavin Rossdale in 2002, then by all means do it! Made for her by John Galliano, Stefani wore a hand-dipped pink ombre gown before ombre was even cool. Knock-offs of her famous dress have since been produced en masse; though I’m pretty sure only she could pull it off. I don’t even think Kate Moss could do the same, and that woman could make a garbage bag look good.
Lauren Santo Domingo, highly recognized style authority and founder of online retailer Moda Operandi, took a break during her own wedding reception to cut her one-of-a-kind Nina Ricci wedding dress into a minidress. Maybe she felt that the couture gown was restricting? It was one of the most beautiful gowns I’d ever laid eyes on, and I’m pretty sure she made baby Jesus cry when she cut it off.
Sarah Burton, creative director for fashion’s late great muse Alexander McQueen, designed the gown seen around the world: Kate Middleton’s. Though some argue that Kate was “Pippa-ed” (that is, outshined by her sister who was wearing the ass-clinging bridesmaids dress), the Duchess of Cambridge’s gown was breathtaking. Kate chose the McQueen team to make her gown because of their reverence for fine craftsmanship and classic needlework. Burton had to keep the dress under wraps because it had to be super-secret, dawg. The Queen and her royal bitches at Kensington Palace made Burton sign a confidentiality agreement so she wouldn’t squeal on any of the juicy deets. In fact, Burton’s parents, Anthony and Diane Heard, were only told on the eve of the ceremony. To find out just what their daughter had created, they had to join the crowds on the Mall and catch a glimpse of the Duchess via periscope!
Within hours of being presented to the world, the McQueen piece was being replicated and copied. That’s classic style that has holding power. Props to you, Sarah Burton, you made the dress that made waves around the world! R.I.P. Queenie. He’d be proud.